Monday, September 28, 2009

There Goes a Regular

Here's the time when I bid you all internetty farewell for awhile, hoping to take the first part of this blog's title at face value and leave my big "but" out of it. Feel lacking in the bravado that's necessary for the arrogance that I should be saying things anyone else needs to be reading. Time to go do something useful. Time to figure out if the un-examined, at least in burdened prose, life is. Time to recharge and rethink and just shut the fuck up, as it were. Put all my parentheticals away before someone figures out they're Russian nesting dolls with nothing inside the smallest shell.

No doubt I'll be back at some point, because I've got too many of these words in me not to let them out. But five years is a long damn time you know. If you figure even a half hour average for those 2500 entries, that's 52 days of my life round the clock here.

And as a parting present, here's one of Harry Matthews' sublime entries from 20 Lines a Day:

One kind of sadness says it's over before its begun. It discounts the future in the awareness that of something about to happen, nothing will be left. This implies that sometimes something is left, and if this is no doubt true, it is only so as expectation, never in fact (unless you count letters, marriage contracts, and other testimonials to intentions--testimonials perhaps to that very same expectation). What happens in fact, always, is that nothing is left: the moment is over, the day is over, the meal is over, the movie is over, the circus is over, the embrace is over, the bottle of Chambertin Close de Bèze 1937 is emptied, the class is over, the course is over and the students are filing out of your life, and life too is over--my father's, George's, Bob Auzanneau's--and nothing remains, nothing remains, except me. The change may be less radical than it sounds if I understand that there was never anything but me, and the bottle and the circus and Bob existed in me. As consolation this is guaranteed to not always work. Nothing remains of the embrace, and I sink towards sleep, or look around to see what will happen next. Sometimes this sadness happens next. How can we keep exposing ourselves to such disappointment? What inspired this impossible longing in us for something conclusive? Maybe just the experience that hunger wanted to put a thing inside us, and that desire had a body for its target? To swallow her, to be swallowed by her--two apparently terminal acts whose illusion is more "solid," more durable than steak and her bones no matter how exquisite. I want you and can never have you. You said it yourself: "You're already gone!" So I write these words down, leaving the problem (if it is a problem) intact and unmodified.

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20 Comments:

Blogger Smitty said...

Wait...

WAit...you're kinda sorta quitting??

Sadness. But I'll toast your prose and think fondly about all the good times as I quaff a west coast IPA.

We hardly knew ya.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Ironicus Maximus said...

No Dog Blog Friday? Dude, you're killing us here. The IM hounds always want to know what Nigel and the Mooks have been up to this week. Think of the children, INOTBB, think of the children!

11:33 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

Bummer. Enjoy your break! You deserve it.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous James said...

Sorry to see you're taking a break, whether permanent or temporary as this has been one of my favorite daily stops on the 'nets, but as the taker of a few hiatuses myself, I do understand the need to step away.

So, thanks for your words and for sharing the pups here and enjoy your well-earned break from blogging.

There will always be a light left on in my rss reader in the hope of an INOTBB return.

Cheers.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Queen Whackamole said...

While being grateful for the past five years, I'm with IM. It's not all about you, you know. I love this blog. Even if you don't want to write much--you've certainly earned a vacation--couldn't you at post some youtubes or links to something? This just seems kinda drastic...

1:01 PM  
Blogger George said...

OK, one last Youtube link.

4:39 PM  
Blogger E-6 said...

I'll drink a great big whiskey to you anyhow.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Cookie Jill said...

Ted Barlow disease. There's got to be a cure...other than having a life outside the keyboard.

HH isn't going to be so hoppy anymore.

11:49 PM  
Anonymous Freealonzo said...

I saw this yesterday but was hoping I was still rubbing off the detritus of the weekend.

As someone who knows that one blogs for themselves and not their readers, I can't in good faith say you must blog, your readers demand it. But... but damn you had some great stuff. I'm going to miss it.

Anyway you're still welcome, nay, strongly urged to come over to my place on Fridays (or any day for that matter) and drop a random top 10 on me. Maybe that will take away some of the pain.

6:25 AM  
Blogger ahab said...

Sorry to hear it, George. Hope all's well with the Mookster.

WV: "ingsber" -- let's toast to blogging.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Trekking Left said...

My morning blog reading routine just won't be the same :(

1:20 PM  
Blogger Marty said...

Take a break. We'll be here. And if you wanted to do the regular community thing like dogblog and random 10, that would still count as a break and keep us around for when those words do come back, because they will. In the meantime, I'm sure there's a lot of good stuff I haven't looked at yet on INOTBB. Time to catch up.

wv: drantic

5:10 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Sorry to hear this George. But as you know, something I can relate to.

4:13 AM  
Blogger Queen Whackamole said...

Feeling better? Through with your mid-blog crisis yet?

(sorry... fans are a terrible burden...)

6:25 PM  
Blogger George said...

Not about my feeling better, Queen. It's about sticking to my unfired guns. Sorry.

9:38 AM  
Blogger regina said...

Wow... now I reallyreallyREALLY have to get over to see you!!

I'm impressed that you at least left us a Dear John/Jane letter. I, on the other hand, am not as decent. I simply went out to get milk & have yet to return to my blog home. :/

3:33 PM  
Blogger jantinori said...

But . . . but . . . I just started reading it a few months ago . . . Are you leaving the play lists up?

9:58 AM  
Blogger George said...

Sorry, John. I will be back.

And the site will stay up and intact for the meantime.

10:13 AM  
Blogger craigsmithsblog said...

Say it ain't so! Where are all the bloggers going?

7:29 AM  
Blogger CLD said...

Patiently awaiting your return. :)

12:21 PM  

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