I'm Not a Bad Driver, I'm Just Drawn that Way

I don't know if I should be comforted or not that I'm pretty much as bad a cyber-athlete as a real athlete. (Nobody beats me as an aesthete, but that's an entirely different story, the one the other 99.99% of this blog's entries are about.) So it should come as no surprise that the joy for most people that is Mario Kart Wii (and even more sorts of joy for some than others, evidently) is somewhat lost on me, as driving into many differently designed 2-D abysses is abysmal. If you know the game, and it seems the quarter of the world not playing the new Grand Theft Auto does, then you know what I mean when I say that I have a good shot at finishing 11th if I get the box with the rocket in it, twice. If you don't know the game, there are 12 cars in every race.

Now it's not too big a deal, beyond my bitterly competitive ways over the most meaningless things, to suck at Wii Golf. I have never played real golf in my life, so not being able to master the virtual game ends in virtual world. Who's uncoordinated in Wii-gas stays in Wii-gas.

But having spent too much time crashing into things in Mario land this past weekend, I have come to doubt my real world driving skills. True, a steering wheel responds better than a Wii-mote. Definitely you feel a car's drive as much as see it. Still it seems that someone capable of driving a Volvo (hey, no jokes!) could get a drawing of a souped-up dune buggy around a drawing of a mall without too many mishaps. Instead, I feel my klutziness spreading, something I fret the real me, not me as Donkey Kong, might get associated with my program.

Here's hoping they don't come up with Wii writing, unless Wii unemployment pays really well. Then again, those coins in the Nintendo games might be worth more than the U.S. dollar at this point.

We'll Bend that Bridge When We Come To It

I was away. Now I'm paying for being away.

Sorry for the lack of posts, if you've noticed/cared. And if you have noticed/cared, sorry for blogging about blogging, which is almost but not quite as boring as hearing about the details of Jenna Bush's wedding. After all, we can run through all those details when we're sharing drinks with Tim Russert's dad in heaven.

There will be reports of much beer and festivities in Boonville. There will be four more days of Paris, I hope before I go there again. But if you'd rather send me to Paris this weekend than read about my last trip, I wouldn't say no.

Let Em Dangle

Originally uploaded by fox shots

The gang hangs around, waiting for its heads, silently planning revenge on the Chicago White Sox for stealing their dates.

Monday non-random Flickr-blogging. (I'm away, but wanted to play somehow. Here's how the random version works.)

Friday Flashback Non-Random 27

The meme the other day got me to thinking. I stopped that as quickly as possible. But I did realize that to figure out what I was doing 10 years ago, or __ years ago, I could probably dig up computer files, and more importantly, mixed tapes. So I went digging, and here's a blast from 1991 (not that the songs were all of that vintage, as you'll see). This is sort of all-over, which makes me like it all the more, a tiny present from 17 years ago.

Hearts Are Treacherous/Struggle for Pleasure

A
Wim Mertens "Struggle for Pleasure"
Tom Verlaine "The Scientist Writes a Letter"
Elvis Costello "Georgie and Her Rival"
Pere Ubu "Playback"
Sundays All Over the World "Open Air"
Kate Bush "Be Kind to My Mistakes"
Medium Medium "Hungry So Angry"
Brian Eno/John Cale "Been There Done That"
Feelies "Doin' It Again"
Marshall Crenshaw "Don't Disappear Now"
Spanic Boys "London Town"
Pixies "Winterlong"
John Hiatt "She Loves the Jerk"

B
Richard Thompson "I Feel So Good"
Joan Armatrading "Words"
Any Trouble "As Lovers Do"
Lloyd Cole "No Blue Skies"
Joy Division "Atmosphere"
Fiat Lux "Photography"
Devo "Beautiful World"
Bill Nelson "Giving It All Away"
Marc Ribot "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
Lou Reed "Legendary Hearts"
Replacements "Sadly Beautiful"
John Wesley Harding "The Rent"
The Chills "Sweet Times"
Bob Mould "Sunspots"

Corporate Incest Is Just Another Way to Say You're Screwing Yourself

I waited, but if no one else is going to say it, I will--does it seem curious to anyone else that now that Mindy Spar, Life Editor, was one of the most recent firings at the News-Press, that leaves Charlotte Boechler, Scott Steepleton's wife, as the head of the the Life section? (She's not listed as Life Editor, but who would be doing the job ahead of her? There's no one else left.)

Purely a coincidence, I'm sure. I'm mean there's no evidence at the News-Press that sleeping with someone gets you a position at the paper, right Nipper?

Memed Myself I

Ben at a dragon dancing with the Buddha memed me. Genrally I bitch and moan, but I'll just suck it up and do it for a change.

Here are the rules:
A) The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
B) Each player answers the questions about himself or herself.
C) At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1) Ten years ago I was...

Ten years younger, but now that I'm ten years older I can't say for certain if my back hurt less then. I was enjoying just the first of my years of marriage with the wonderful Amy. Mookie was just a pup, so we did pup-loving things. Like bought a new, not chewed up couch. I was still teaching writing at the time but was writing for the Independent in a different incarnation as an arts feature writer covering things from David Sedaris to Mose Allison. I had a website for teaching that was a mini-proto-blog. I did not get rich from this.

2) Five things on today's to-do list:

Bring dinner to friends who recently had a baby.
Divvy up our wine futures for the cartel I front.
Go to work and not be consumed by the ever-needy website.
Watch the Mets stink playing the Dodgers.
Wash some dishes (this is on every day's to-do list).

3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

Wake up from fainting after learning I was a billionaire.
Hire someone to download my vinyl into digital because I'm clearly never getting around to doing it despite buying that USB turntable, and that's even before the billion to worry about.
Set up a foundation to fund lefty stuff and make George Soros look like a piker.
Make sure a big part of that is funding some smart science folks so we might get alternative energy that works. That alternative energy is lefty stuff is something I would try to fix with my billion.
Make a reservation for whenever at the French Laundry.
There is the possibility I might buy some wine.

4) Three bad habits:

Buying too much wine. (Note I did not say drinking too much wine.)
Overusing the dash and parentheses.
Crunchy Cheetos on long car drives.

5) Five places I've lived:

East Hanover, NJ, Baltimore, MD, Iowa City, IA, State College, PA, Santa Barbara, CA (glad you didn't ask for more than 5--but the count of addresses in each locale, in order, is 1, 2, 2, 6, 4)(damn--did the parentheses and dash thing!)

6) Six jobs I've had in my life:

These are in my profile, actually: "A body guard for Jodie Foster, a walk-on dancer with French avant garde troupe Maguy Marin, a film programmer, a textbook author, a bassist in a rock band, a union president, a janitor, a delivery man to Plato's Retreat, a radio DJ, a rock journalist, a lab assistant for a company that made everything from mouthwash to super skin lubricant, and even, once, a poet." That leaves out food editor, teacher, marketing-publicity-communications maven. Got paid, at least something, for every one of those jobs except the body guard gig and the poetry. Nobody pays for that.

And, since I did this so non-grumbly-like, I am tagging 5 people to pass along the love. So, Amy, Queen Whackamole, Patrick, Tessitura, and Mike, you've been served by a sub-meme-peona.

Derrangement in Gray in Black

Originally uploaded by skumnjepf

Now that his presidential bid failed, Rudy Giuliani has been paying off his debt working as an artist's model.

Monday random Flickr-blogging explained.

You're So Going to Get Siouxed for Ripping Off the Early 80s

Originally uploaded by envisionpublicidad

Sometimes it's a bit too clear how they put the high in high fahion.

Bury My Heart at Wounded Neon

Originally uploaded by Schaffner

Here's a toast to mom and pop stores.

McCain Loses to the Turnip, Too

Two men share a microphone...and other things.

See if you can tell McCain and Bush apart at this nifty quiz.

And then find out how much better it would be to vote for a carrot rather than McCain.

Friday Random Ten

Talking Heads "(Nothing But) Flowers" Naked
Geoffrey Oryema "Payira Wind" Beat the Border
Big Star "Morpha Too" #1 Record/Radio City
The White Stripes "Take, Take, Take" Get Behind Me Satan
Nicky Skopelitis "Ghost of a Chance" Ekstasis
The Band of Blacky Ranchette "Under the Table" Still Lookin' Good to Me
M.I.A. "Fire Fire" Arular
Old 97's "Can't Get a Line" Satellite Rides
Galaxie 500 "Ceremony" On Fire
Habib Koite & Bamada "Wassiye" Ma Ya

bonus
The Band of Blacky Ranchette "Bored Lil' Devil" Still Lookin' Good to Me

OK, the repeat of the Howe Gelb side project is a bit odd, but otherwise there's a wide world of music here, something that doesn't always represent in my random ten. And it's as if the T-Heads to start got the old iTunes thinking that way.

Mook-a-Roo-Roo

For Dog Blog Friday: You'd howl too if there was a stone lizard on your nose.

This Could Get Pflugly

Jo Ann Pflug turns 61 Friday, or should I say Pfriday. That means 1948 is the cut-off for when Hollywood realized some names had to change to be marquee-worthy (as opposed to Scrabble-worthy). And what a career the now motivational speaker has had--indeed the 1970s & early 80s might not have existed without her. Sure there's the film of M*A*S*H, but also Operation Petticoat, Dukes of Hazard, Love American Style, Charlie's Angels, Love Boat, Fantasy Island. It's little wonder those of us who came of age in that era are somewhat stunted, and Jo Ann had her Pflugs all over us (you can dust for pflugs, you know). Indeed, in some ways she's Fannie Flagg without the books, as both starred (if I may insult real nebulae for a moment) on Match Game and Candid Camera, too. It's a shame we couldn't merge them into one Fannie Pflug. I don't want to pull the woolery over your eyes on this one (uber-game-show host Chuck Woolery was her husband, sadly prior to his Love Connection days--Love Busy Signal? Love Dial Tone?), so instead I'll pull the pflug.