Monday, July 06, 2009

Resigning Woman

Sarah Palin on July 3, 2009: In the words of General MacArthur said, 'We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.' One with less grammar."

Sarah Palin on July 27, 2009: "I have hiked the Appalachian Trail. It does not go to Argentina."

Sarah Palin on July 29, 2009: "Please tell David Letterman that Bristol was not on the hike with me and she was not knocked up by Mark Sanford. Now I have to go hold two magnificent parts of myself in the faded glow of night’s light. Look for a full pictorial in the August Runner's World. And my lawyer will threaten a lawsuit in the morning."

Sarah Palin on October 23, 2009: "Since the truly worthy causes in this world should be the public priority with time and resources and NOT this local / superficial wasteful political bloodsport, I have decided I will find out what happened to Amelia Earhart, especially as she probably disappeared over the Pacific somewhere tropical."

Sarah Palin on November 21, 2009: "I have discovered the real killer of Nicole Brown Simpson but I can't tell you who it was (hint: wrong famous black man). I know not to explain: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway."

Sarah Palin on March 15, 2010: "A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. I am proud to be named the new coach of the Clippers."

Sarah Palin on March 25, 2010: "I've never believed that I, nor anyone else, needs a title to do this - to make a difference... to HELP people. So I will no longer be Clippers 'coach' while still making a difference."

Sarah Palin on January 20, 2013: "I am honored to be elected the first female president of the United States. And since I do not believe in politics as usual, I am resigning the presidency with this speech. Also."



Blogger E-6 said...

Is is wrong to wanna see her coach the Clippers?

6:33 PM  
Blogger Smitty said...

I was not a fan of your January 2013 missive. Boo.

5:58 AM  
Anonymous jantinori said...

Palin's use of "progressing" as a verb, as in "progressing our state" brought back fond memories of student papers in State College.

7:42 AM  

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