Ox Me No More Questions

Charles Newbold knew he had to be an inventor or he'd let his surname down. What's more, Newbold didn't settle for inventing the bong/vibrator that finally lays to rest the question "do you smoke after sex?" or the weed cutting golf club that allowed duffers to say "rough? what rough." Nope, Newbold opted to be Mr. Plow. For on Friday 212 years ago he patented the cast iron plow. (Note: if you patent something, do it on a Friday so you have a weekend to celebrate.) Oxen were pulling for (haha) the plow to be made of Styrofoam, of course, but no one had yet invented the ox-voice-decoder, so their grunts were hard to understand. While his invention broke new ground, the cast iron plow didn't sprout up like weeds on farms throughout the land as farmers worried cast iron would poison the ground. In fact, many complained loudly about that as they spread the latest fertilizer from Monsanto.