Monday, December 31, 2007

Sure We're Guilty--Guilty of Being Right! (Might Is Still Right, Right?)

Given today's news, here's an article we could most likely read in the shell that used to be the News-Press, as buried as you can get in a paper with small sections....

NLRB Judge Rules Against Ampersand Publishing:
Judgment Proves Federal Law Bias

by Shott Credibiliton

National Labor Relations Mr. Judge William Kocol has decreed that the News-Press and its parent company Ampersand Publishing has violated the National Labor Relations Act in more ways than this paper can count with its remaining staff. News-Press legal counsel Mr. Barry Cappello states, "These rulings simply prove our case--the entire world beyond a handful of people willing to sell out all their scrupples is biased against [Mrs.] Wendy McCaw. This obvious bias is proof we'll definitely win upon one of the many appeals that I've had written since the day the original case closed. I figured I needed them prepared as this could go on longer than I might."

Mrs. McCaw originally expressed surprise upon hearing the news, claiming, "I own the building [located at an address we won't print to protect the building] in which the hearing took place. I thought property rights meant something in this country. But it seems I can't own a person or a building. Nipper, go make me a drink; just make sure that boy editor doesn't get one."

Ampersand also announced it will go to court to gain possession of Mr. Judge Kocol's computer.

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Anonymous Starshine said...

Oh, my god, I needed those laughs SO badly. Thank you.

7:26 PM  

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