Sure We're Guilty--Guilty of Being Right! (Might Is Still Right, Right?)
NLRB Judge Rules Against Ampersand Publishing:
Judgment Proves Federal Law Bias
by Shott Credibiliton
National Labor Relations Mr. Judge William Kocol has decreed that the News-Press and its parent company Ampersand Publishing has violated the National Labor Relations Act in more ways than this paper can count with its remaining staff. News-Press legal counsel Mr. Barry Cappello states, "These rulings simply prove our case--the entire world beyond a handful of people willing to sell out all their scrupples is biased against [Mrs.] Wendy McCaw. This obvious bias is proof we'll definitely win upon one of the many appeals that I've had written since the day the original case closed. I figured I needed them prepared as this could go on longer than I might."
Mrs. McCaw originally expressed surprise upon hearing the news, claiming, "I own the building [located at an address we won't print to protect the building] in which the hearing took place. I thought property rights meant something in this country. But it seems I can't own a person or a building. Nipper, go make me a drink; just make sure that boy editor doesn't get one."
Ampersand also announced it will go to court to gain possession of Mr. Judge Kocol's computer.