Not a Chants

It would be easy to begin by saying that this Friday 59 years ago Miranda, the famous moon of Uranus, was first photographed in all its glory, but I want to leave such humor behind. So instead I'll put my nose to the jokestone, which might leave the jokestone damp, given my nose has been running a bit of late, so naturally my thoughts turn to Pope Gregory. You probably know Gregory best for his famous controversy with Patriarch Eutychius of Constantinople (those were fine quarreling times), but Gregory is also the first person to say, "God bless you" after a sneeze--in fact, he did it for the first time 1407 years ago this Friday, if the Catholics can be trusted, and of course they can, because I want to be a Democratic candidate's official blogger someday. Needless to say, when a pope blesses you, that's nothing to sneeze at, and the new phrase was an improvement over the older, "God save the sleeve!"--remember, these were in the days before even generic tissues, let alone Kleenex, since the X had yet to be invented. Of course, Gregory hoped his blessing would keep those blessed from getting the plague, and few noticed with their respectfully downturned faces that he would not only say the phrase, but spray rat poison while saying it. In those days the plague death rate dropped, but many died from an indeterminate contagion. Times were tough in the Dark Ages, although the Pope called into question the science that claimed it was the Dark Ages, and proposed more studies to be run out of the office of his second in command, Cardinal Dickus Cheneyus.