Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Winning the War One Bite at a Time

How can Saddam Hussein be a homicidal tyrant? He likes Doritos, at least according to the latest from GQ as reported everywhere today.

But that got me thinking, and so you know there's trouble ahead. Perhaps the way to pay for the war (which is up already over $175 billion) is to get corporate sponsors. Some are naturals--Hummer, Armor-All--but why not "this captured tyrant is sponsored by Doritos, bet you he can't gas just one!" Not to mention the more we associate snack food with the war, the more, uh, palatable it might become to the American public. Just imagine Little Debby TeamMate Cookies with the plucky Debster in fatigues and her teammates palsing around one of their rifles. Now that's American, paid for, and delicious.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Tessitura said...

This is GREAT...and that last line

...Now that's American, paid for, and delicious...

That just makes me want to cry!!!

4:07 PM  
Anonymous karenas said...

Geez, my only true junk-food addiction is Nacho Cheese Doritos. Can I become a dictator? If I pass enough gas amongst my own family, will I qualify as someone who gasses their own people? God, this reminds me of all of the corporate brand names that Homeland security trotted out for the upcoming huge next terror event. Starkist Tuna and some kind of breakfast bar. Hidden Valley or something.

6:17 PM  

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