Monday, August 03, 2009

Do You Come to This Blog Orphan?

The Christian American Carwash Association (CACA) has called for a boycott of the film The Final Destination 3D and sent a letter of protest, co-signed by leaders of nearly a dozen car wash groups, to the film's distributor, New Line. CACA has expressed concern over FD3D, an upcoming horror movie featuring a murderous carwash.

CACA has some high-powered allies on Capitol Hill. In a letter to the New Line CEO, Sens. Mary Landrieu, D-La., Tom Coburn, R-Okla., and James Inhofe, R-Okla., and Reps. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., John Boozman, R-Ark., and Danny Davis, D-Ill., wrote that the film’s depiction of carwashes was inaccurate and destructive. They also insisted that global warming was a hoax and President Obama is not a U.S. citizen.

Bachmann said, "Movies are totally believable as they're so big and you see them and this one's even in three dimensions, which I'm pretty sure is the same as life. Especially during the busy summer season it would be too great a burden for the carwash industry--which is crucial to America's economic recovery, or so Jesus told me--for people to be thinking they will at first seem to drown and then get decapitated by the high-powered dryer if they get their car washed."

In other news, Iowa Congressman Steve King was about to protest not only not being included with the other brightest bulbs in government, but also the DVD release of the 25th anniversary edition of Leprechaun. King said, "See, I do care about colored people. Plus I don't want to be the one who didn't fight for Lucky Charms."

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Blogger Drew said...

Wait, is this a parody of some real-life boycott of Orphan? I hadn't heard of one, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least if one existed, pitiful though it might be.

On the subject of the murderous car wash, I must say that I have many times thought, mid-wash, that these contraptions would be a nightmarish place to get stuck, especially with all the serial killers that are maybe chasing me.

5:26 PM  
Blogger E-6 said...

Make and model of car, Drew. No big deal. Oh, and ahh, your license plate number.

6:56 PM  
Blogger George said...

Some seem to want to doubt in the existence of CACA, but its motto is "We leave your fish decal a-tingling with cleanliness."

Or check the link for clues.

10:35 PM  

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