Thursday, September 20, 2007

I Was Arrested for Disturbing the Peace, but I Thought I Was Disturbing the War

So dear Dianne Feinstein (CA, Lieberman-Lite) was one of the Democrat Senators (as Bush once again put it in his ghastly display today) to vote to condemn MoveOn. So I stand condemned. I will also just vote for the Republican running against Feinstein next time, since I might as well get what I vote for.

Meanwhile the Senate can't even begin to get the war to end.

At this point I'd have to be optimistic to feel even cynical about politics.

Of course it's the whole world turned downside up. Don't know if you missed it, but when Kathy Griffin won an Emmy the other day, she said, "a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus." Not only is that really funny, especially given the often off-color nature of Griffin's show My Life on the D-List, it proves how ridiculous it is for people to thank Jesus for winning an Emmy (or a Super Bowl or a ball game or the Lotto or free fries). As if Jesus is fixing things and has the Holy Spirit making book in Vegas. (You can't imagine how expensive it is to fund all those heavenly hosts, glowing and flitting about.)

Meanwhile a Christian theater group The Miracle Theater spent $90,440 on a full-page advertisement in USA Today condemning Griffin. OK, so we know they're really miraculous if they can cough up nearly 100G's to do this instead of staging Godspell for the umpteenth time (or feed the hungry or something, but hey, who am I to judge--the Bible says we're not supposed to do that). The AP quotes Russ Hollingsworth, general manager of The Miracle Theater as saying, "It's just not OK anymore to mock Christians and Jesus with impunity."

He went on to say, "Why can't everyone just be hypocrites and pretend that Jesus is why they succeed in life?"

So here's what I think Griffin should say, "I'm so sorry for my recent outburst at the Emmys. Of course my win is solely and only do to my personal lord and savior Jesus Christ. My competition--Antiques Roadshow (PBS), The Dog Whisperer (Discovery), Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC), and Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (Showtime)--are all shows that I know are personal favorites of the Devil, and one even has a curse in the title. Plus, as people who watch my show know, I have a large contingent of gay fans. And as you know, despite traveling with Mary Magdalene as his beard, Jesus had all those disciples for a reason. I mean, when you call someone named Peter your rock...."

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, George..brought at bit of light to me here in the deep South

9:04 AM  
Blogger theaverageman said...

I just sent an e-mail to Senator Feinstein, calling her vote "sanctimonious and meaningless". I feel a bit better now.

9:27 AM  
Blogger Trekking Left said...

The Kathy Griffin thing reminds me that the Emmys also cut Sally Field's acceptance speech where she said something about if mothers ran the world, there would be no war (I'm paraphrasing). Anyway, so much for Hollywood and the media leaning left. Thanks to Bush and the FCC, there's yet another US institution controlled by conservatives.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Bryan said...

Dude, you are... like... so going to Hell.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Marty said...

Thank you Jesus for helping me compose this response to the heathen George. Thank you Jesus for stopping the defeatocrats from stopping the war on terra, which is holy and kills them over there so we can live in comfort here with all our stuff. Thank you Jesus for having people tell me what the Bible means because reading is hard time-consuming work, and reading is for women anyway. Thank you Jesus for sending other people's kids to fight the islamofascists. Thank you Jesus for my SUV and my sub-prime loan and CSI Miami. Thank you Jesus for my college degree. It really helped to have you whisper all those answers into my ear. Thank you Jesus for SCOTUS and Unitary Executive Power because the one thing democracy needs is for someone who knows Jesus to tell us what to do.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Ironicus Maximus said...

George! your Ironicus is most Maximus. We're proud of you , boy.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous kusala said...

I'm not one to personally engage in irreverent tit-for-tat just for its own sake, but in the context, I think Griffin's "Suck it, Jesus" (the words following the bit you quoted) was fairly hilarious. I think she and Sarah "Yeah-Jews-Killed-Jesus-and-We'd-Do-It-Again!" Silverman should do a team act.

As for Feinstein... I guess I should write AGAIN, but after her "we'll have to agree to disagree" response to my diatribe about her support of the anti-flag-burning Amendment, I'm not expecting much. You may have a point about voting Republican for at least the WYSIWYG factor.

10:50 AM  

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