Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Holy Cow!

"Scooter" was convicted Tuesday of lying and obstructing a leak investigation that shook the top levels of the Baseball Hall of Fame Veteran's Committee. It seems he fingered the AFLAC duck as a CIA operative, thereby putting the duck and his friend Yogi in jeopardy. The good news is his other friend Pee Wee remained above suspicion, since he isn't that Pee-wee.

Most people believe the lying charge relates directly to how hard it is to believe there is a trio of men in their 80s with the names Scooter, Yogi, and Pee Wee.

In the end, jurors said they did not believe Scooter's main defense: that he hadn't lied but merely had a bad memory. One juror said, "He can remember everyone's name who has a birthday, even with runners on second and third and less than two out, but he doesn't recall these details? We're talking about a man who can describe every cannoli he's eaten since leaving the service!"

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Blogger Mike said...

He took the cannoli.

Anyhow, there isn't a man in his 80's named Pee Wee. There's a dead man named Pee Wee. And let's be honest, if your name was Harold, maybe you'd go by Pee Wee too.

4:22 AM  
Blogger George said...

Pee Wee is not dead--he lives on in the heart of every baseball fan.

At least he made it to 81.

Good Sarah Vowell allusion, btw.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Until I looked her up just now, I didn't know who Sarah Vowell was. So all allusions unintentional, I assure you.

Though the Godfather reference was purposeful.

11:54 AM  

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