Friday, January 12, 2007

Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys?

The ever-clever Bob Harris, who can blog with one hand while writing a book with the other, points us to this disturbing, but true photo:

It seems that Elmo has been up to something much more serious than tickling. You can fit 4 pounds of meth into the Muppet, but it does leave him with that busted puppet in the headlights look. And to think Jerry Falwell was all worried about Teletubbies while this horror was going on. No wonder people want to defund PBS.

But, alas, Elmo isn't the only "toy" who found himself doing the perp walk this holiday season. Turns out poor Barbie, desperate to keep up the partyin' pace with the younger Skipper, who Ken has sort of had his eye on (and who knows what else) of late, has turned to some artificial stimulants herself. Did you see this picture in the Weekly Toy News?

Yes Virginia, there is a "Snow" Barbie. (We won't even discuss that slutty teddy she's wearing.)

Finally there's this, the See 'n' Say 'n' Shoot Up, that seems innocent enough until you turn it over to discover it's not from Mattel but Patel. He's got a great poppy field in the new Afghanistan that the US has done such a bang-up job bringing about.

The Cow still says moo, but look out for Horse, for he doesn't just whinny, he sticks the holder of the toy with a syringe. Tots will be singing, "When I'm rushing on my run, and I feel just like Fisher-Price's son" without a doubt.


Blogger Tom Hilton said...

Reminds me of Traffic.

Bottom line: there is no end to human ingenuity in pursuit of easy profit.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Tots will be singing, "When I'm rushing on my run, and I feel just like Fisher-Price's son" without a doubt

Zing! What's childhood without a little Sweet Lou to getcha' through the night?

When they start singing, "It's my horse . . . well, of course," we'll know the little tykes have gotten to sophisticated for their own good.

6:45 AM  

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