Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Then Comes Marriage, But Only If You're Pushing a Baby Carriage

It's good I read a lot of news, because if I didn't I might not have discovered that Amy and I are both gay, or at least we would be if we lived in Ohio. It seems a Christian home school headmaster named Gary Lankford, the Ohio Republican Party's newly hired "social conservative coordinator," has sent out an email letting people know the truth about Democratic gubernatorial candidate Ted Strickland, who happens to be an ordained Methodist minister, but that doesn't seem to matter. According to the Toledo Blade (hat tip to Shakespeare's Sister):

Mr. Lankford's e-mail to social conservatives linked to a blog entry at pullinsreport.blogspot.com that called Mr. and Mrs. Strickland's relationship "bizarre" and claimed a Blade article about their decision not to have children implies "the Stricklands are both gay."

I didn't realize that not wanting to have kids means I'm just repressing my own homosexuality! After all, gay people never have or want children! If only I could be as smart as the Republicans in Ohio, who certainly know how to elect paragons of upright morality.

Then again, maybe it's the whole Midwest that's the problem, I mean, that's good at pointing out how gay Amy and I really are. For during the debates about the anti-gay marriage amendment last week, INOTBB's favorite congressman
Todd Akin (R-Mo.) asserted, "Marriage is not about love; it's about a love that can bear children." I'd write more, but I better get working on that divorce--if it's even necessary since my marriage is clearly such a sham--and get some man-on-man personals posted somewhere right away.


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