If I May, Day

Standing on the bow of a kayak paddled by Karl Rove in McCovey Cove today, President Bush announced: "Admiral Turdblossom, Captain Snow, officers and sailors of the USS Hindenberg, my fellow Americans: Major combat operations in this ballpark have ended. In the Battle of the Babe, Barry Bonds and his allies have prevailed. And now our coalition is engaged in securing and reconstructing the march on Hank Aaron. Operation Barry Does Balco was carried out with a combination of precision, and speed, and boldness the enemy did not expect, and the world had not seen before."

He was going to say more, but then Bud Selig sank his kayak.