Wednesday, April 05, 2006

What's the Matter with Kids Today?

Or, Ladies leave the room, I need to introduce the Gentlemen to my fantasy baseball team. I was good at this for 3 straight years, then last year things went south. I wisely didn't freeze my longtime mainstay Bonds, as there are no cryogenic steroids and not so wisely did freeze Gagne, who pitched all of 14 innings, and the team also had lots of guys with good half years like Bobby Abreu and Jeremy Bonderman and the peanut tossing salesman in Section 114. The White Sox won the real World Series, btw. Some things just don't make sense.

This year our league had to move from Stats Inc., which didn't want to pay MLB's ridiculous new licensing fees, to Yahoo. It seems MLB is treating its sport like a Cheney treats oil--milk all out of it as you can right now for it won't be long for the world. That's a way to market. Of course on draft night my computer threw a fit and I lost access to the draft for 5 rounds or so, just enough to be really pissed while it happened while secretly realizing, "Hey, if I lose, I can always blame it on the computer snafu."

Wheh I finished, I realized I have a team that would be truly imposing...come about the 2008 season. So, for your enjoyment so you, too, can play along at home, here are your Oberkfellows!

Brian McCann
Josh Willinghman
Brad Wilkerson
Justin Mourneau
Dan Johnson
Rickie Weeks
Orlando Hudson
JJ Hardy
Ian Kinsler
David Wright
Morgan Ensberg
Miguel Cabrera
Jason Michaels
Carlos Beltran
Bobby Abreu
Delmon Young
Jason Kubel
Johan Santana
Felix Hernandez
Dan Haren
Scott Kazmir
Justin Verlander
Jeremy Bonderman
Jonathan Papelbon
Derrick turnbow
Mike MacDougal
Rafael Soriano
Scott Williamson

At least my team saves a lot of money on the road as they're mostly too young to grow facial hair, so I don't have to buy fantasy razors.

Update: I had to fix mistakes in this entry, as I was falling asleep at the computer trying to post. New job means lots of work and it's tiring. Plus three freelance jobs going at the same time, too.

And yes, the fantasy team name has changed. It used to be the Hanover Heir to the Throneberries, but that was too long even at Stats and the name character limit is yet smaller at Yahoo. So I opted to honor one of the great mediocre players of my teens, one a group of us also honored with our very middle-aged English Dept. softball team once upon a time.


Anonymous Tessitura said...

wahh wahh job is rough huh... wanna come back and work in the T.O. I thought not. Thats a neat team you got...I will be sure to send you some fantasy fake ID's so they can have fun on the days off.

7:56 PM  

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