Friday, March 24, 2006

A Ha-Ha on Hollywood

Making fun of IMDB news nuggets is almost as easy as spotting the plagiarism cases in the WaPo conservative blogger's history, but if you don't take a swing at the low hanging fruit, it will fall to the ground, rot and attract flies. This is especially true for conservative bloggers. So, here we go on a whirlwind tour through all the news that keeps us from noticing we took out a tyrant and still managed to make things worse somewhere...

Samuel L. Jackson's new mile-high thriller Snakes on a Plane has created such a buzz among internet film fans, movie bosses have called for re-shoots - to give the film a tougher rating.

We can now look forward to more snake sex, a skin shedding sequence that is sexier than Rita Hayworth removing her gloves in Gilda and a few scenes with eggs that even make me blush, and I've seen Pink Flamingos.

Mission: Impossible III star Tom Cruise reenacted his sofa-jumping escapade on The Oprah Winfrey Show when he appeared at Yahoo's Influential Speakers showcase on Tuesday. The Jerry Maguire actor took to the stage in Sunnyvale, California, with the internet company's chief executive Terry Semel and answered questions and had an impromptu arm wrestle before pointing fun at the way he expressed his love for fiancee Katie Holmes last year. Cruise then brought his pregnant wife-to-be onto the stage and kissed her in front of the audience.

I best Holmes makes him do these things as she probably only gets kissed when there's an audience. And she's no doubt still bitter they had to use Jodie Foster's hand-me-down turkey baster....

Hollywood hardman Bruce Willis has apologized to Colombia after blaming the nation for America's drug problems. The Die Hard star now insists the US is as much to blame for the prolific trade, and confesses he didn't mean to single out any one country as the supplier. He tells the New York Daily News, "I spoke to the Colombians. It's fine. I get passionate sometimes."

Yes, millions of Colombians were shocked earlier this week as (hardman?) Bruce Willis completed a lightning-fast door-to-door campaign to apologize to the country. Results from an AP poll completed after he visited "the Colombians" showed that 42% of the country forgave him, 28% of the country was too high to answer their door and another 30% confused him for Ashton Kutcher.

German director Werner Herzog has hailed Christian Bale one of the greatest actors of his time. The pair worked together on prisoner-of-war thriller Rescue Dawn, but the 63-year-old film-maker insists he spotted Bale's prodigious talent long before they met on set.

Hmm, guess Herzog rented the uncut version of Velvet Goldmine.

One Tree Hill star Chad Michael Murray has hooked up with another beauty from the hit TV show - an extra who has just turned 18 years old. The 24-year-old Freaky Friday star - who split from co-star Sophia Bush last September after just five months of marriage - is reportedly now dating Kenzie Dalton, who plays a cheerleader on the teen drama. The actress, who is also a model, confirms the relationship saying, "We've been going out since December." The couple have largely kept their relationship out of the limelight, because they started dated when Dalton was only 17 years old. She explains, "Chad and I just hang out. We don't really go out at night."

How cheap has stardom become when acting in One Tree Hill and the remake of Freaky Friday makes you a "star"? That said, I've got three bits of advice for Chad:
1) It's a big world out there. Don't just date at work.
2) You can get a non-actress to wear a cheerleader uniform, if that's what you want.
3) Hope you enjoyed that 18th birthday, although I can guess what your present to Kenzie was.

Movie veteran Harrison Ford has refused to retire any time soon, although he will be a senior citizen in just two years time. The 63-year-old, who did his own fight scenes in recent thriller Firewall, insists he's still fit enough for the big screen. He says, "The notion of retirement is that you have outlived your usefulness and I'm still working. I'm not sitting on the front porch." Last week, Ford confirmed he will reprise his role as swashbuckling adventurer Indiana Jones in a long-awaited sequel.

Word has it the new film will be called Arizona Jones and deal with heroic struggles with leaking Depends on the golf course.


Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker