Thursday, November 03, 2005

To Pea or Not to Pea

More entries about goring and food....

Today is the 53rd anniversary of the day that Clarence Birdseye first marketed frozen peas. And I chose the word "marketed" advisedly, as he had been freezing peas since the '20s (rumor has it we're still thawing peas from the original batch), but none sold until he "marketed" them, mostly by convincing the makers of TV dinners to put peas in one of their tray's compartments, where, of course, they somehow sloshed out, only to become odd protuberances in the pretty-much-inedible chocolate cake. What else would you expect from a man quoted as saying, "I do not consider myself a remarkable person. I am just a guy with a very large bump of curiosity and a gambling instinct." For these days if you had a "very large bump of curiosity" you would be sued for sexual harassment (at least till the Alito Supreme Court gets to clear the judicial system by eliminating all those pesky protection laws). And today if you have a gambling instinct, then you get to be as moral as Bill Bennett, who often seems to act as if he's carrying some frozen peas gingerly between parts of his anatomy.

Oh well, it could be worse, you could be one of Clarence Birdseye's children. After all, they called him the Father of Frozen Food. (Oddly enough, Nigel our greyhound's father was frozen sperm.)

Now I dare you to look at a frozen pea without giving it a hairy eyeball.

Be sure to spear that pea with the tine of your fork. (Thought I forgot about the goring part, didn't you?)


Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker