Thursday, October 20, 2005

Arnold to Art Patrons: "RUN!"

As feared, because I get all my news from INOTBB, I've found absolutely nothing to be blogworthy since George and Amy and their two-dimensional dogs/xylophones left town.

But thanks to the California Arts Council, it's time to provide an important legislative update from Sacramento. As a poet, I am horrified to learn that my audience will be allowed to leave. Well, I mean, I let them leave, but I prefer not to. Now, a new law says that, not only do I have to give them the option of leaving, I have to tell them how to do it?

On October 5, Governor Schwarzenegger signed AB1194, authored by Assemblymember Jenny Oropeza* (D-Long Beach). This bill requires that any person or public or private firm, organization, or corporation, that owns, rents, leases or manages a facility that hosts a ticketed event for live entertainment shall make an announcement of the availability of emergency exits prior to the beginning of the live entertainment...This new law will take effect January 1, 2006. Failure to comply is a misdemeanor.

If I lose those people who stay in their seats because their too embarrassed to fumble around the room to find the door, who will be left? (To be fair, the Assembly is helping the creative community by reducing what should be a false imprisonment to a mere misdemeanor.) Clearly, it's back to the old strategy: give the audience lots of wine.

*Note that Jenny Oropeza is clearly a nom de plume for Jenny PROENZA, famed among UC High students for her doctor's-note forgeries and class cutting. I often had to ditch class just so I could pretend to be her aunt, driving her to the podiatrist for emergency surgery. Where were the blogs then?


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