Lear Jets to His Pen for Limerick Day

Limerick Day is celebrated each year on May 12 to mark the birth of English artist and author Edward Lear (1812–88), whose witty words made the limerick form popular.

I will now attempt to make the form unpopular, at least to those of you reading my unleashed doggerel:

There once was a President named Bush
Who found Jesus to end being a lush
When he was praying
He thought he heard what the Lord was saying
But we all know he had his head up his tush.

The ballerina in the Canadian "Sleeping Beauty"
was beyond the days of being a cutie.
During one pas de deus
she started to moo--
the poor hoofer turned heifer shaking her booty.

At Harry's Bar the flamencoist named Farruquito
nearly choked while munching a Cheeto.
Till a smart waiter from Venice
grabbed the fop hard by his penis --
the expectorated snack nearly flew to the Lido.

It's odd to discover that diva Denyce Graves
has a tattoo on her bum that says "Jesus saves."
But indeed it was quite clear,
for her dress didn't cover her rear
and her closing cadenza drew the critics' raves.

There once were two corpulent divas from Greece
Who for years had not seen south of their knees.
Each night that had to have a
Big plate of baklava...
It’s rumored one accidentally ate Della Reese.