Barking Up the Wrong Phone

Of course it might be great to have the Dolittle-like ability to talk to the animals, but if we really want to know what a creature with a brain the size of a fist is thinking, we can always look up the latest emanations from the White House.

But seriously folks, it seems that people in South Korea, when not cranking out cheap animation or worrying about the crazy ruler to their north who likes both nukes and much more primitive weapons, at least when letting children take pretend aim at President Bush, have come up with a way to let pet owners know what their dogs are thinking:

South Koreans hoping to communicate with man's best friend could be getting help soon from their cell phones. KTF Corp., a South Korean mobile phone operator, said Thursday it will begin offering a service that will enable dog owners to know whether their pets are feeling happy or sad.

[...]

The owner will receive text messages telling them how their pet is feeling, such as "I am happy" or "I am frustrated."

For more advanced users, they will also receive messages like "I much prefer when you wear the linen pants--they feel better when I hump your leg," "John Bolton the UN Ambassador? I'm a South Korean mutt and I'm smarter than a U.S. Senator!" and "I can't believe my owner is so stupid that he trusts this phone is telling him what I'm thinking."