Put Your Smithers in a Dither

As you've probably heard, Patty from The Simpsons came out (!) on national TV (!!) on Sunday(!!!). She even tried to get married, but luckily her intended turned out to be a man pretending to be a lesbian, and so she didn't get married (geez, she almost married a man!).

Not surprisingly, the culture wars have seized this episode as battleground, for nothing proves our nation's moral fiber more than its cartoons. The usual suspects made the usual clucking, including L Brent Bozell, president of the Parents Television Council, who said: "At a time when the public mood is overwhelmingly against gay marriage, any show that promotes gay marriage is deliberately bucking the public mood."

He further said, "And I know the public mood because I own a public mood ring, and it never is a rainbow color. To be honest, I've never even seen it turn a saucy teal."

As for First Amendment protections of freedom of speech, Bozell claimed, "Sure the creators of The Simpsons have the right to advocate Godless, sinful unions. But the majority of this country also has the right to stand up for what's moral and find where these 'creative' people live and stone them. That's free speech, too."