Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Got Your New Ideas Right Here

Since he totally agrees with me and listens to me about everything I'm sure this is exactly what he'll deliver, but here's my version of the much reviled--days before he gives it--national address to schoolchildren that Obama's going to present Tuesday.

Dear unfortunate children of the U.S.--

You really shouldn't even be paying attention to me, as all us adults, we're all lying to you. We tell you just to work hard and you will have a good life and all the things you want to buy you will buy and you will be happier than Adam and Eve riding their dinosaurs in Eden. But it's not true. The world we're leaving you is going to hell in a handbasket, a handbasket filled with guns and hate and crazy. Even the people your parents elect to take part in government, the ones that are supposed to represent you, to work for you, says government can't do anything for you.

But it can do things for the obscenely wealthy--Tim Geithner's kids, if this is on at your private school, just go home. You're going to be ok, your dad's made sure of that. Most of the rest of you, however, better double up on your bootstraps, you've got a lot of lifting to do.

For not only do most of us adults lie about most about everything, what we don't lie about we're just stupid about. One of the liars makes stuff up--like we're going to kill old people--and then all the stupid ones nod their heads. One of the liars says government provided health insurance is socialism, and all the people on Medicare nod their heads. One of the liars says there's no global warming because it's cold for one day someplace, and all the people running from forest fires or drowning in the more violent hurricanes nod their heads. It's like America has become one giant rusted out hulk of a 1957 Chevy, and we're all the bobbing-head-dogs in the back of the car. That's up on blocks. In a field littered with the ripped up remainders from Regnery Publishing.

So what can you do about it, my unfortunates? Go read some books. Challenge your teachers. Maybe cry a little--I know I would.

But more than anything else, just stop listening.

(13 of 31 in the drive to 2500)



Blogger Mike said...

I find the idea of an address to school children pretty creepy.

5:33 AM  

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