She Hit a Wet Spot!

Sometimes the "this day in history" listings just don't give you enough to go on. For instance, Friday is the 22 anniversary of Donna Patterson Brice setting the high speed water skiing record of 111.11 mph, which is not only terrifyingly fast but freakishly consistent. Yet Google Brice and her place in history has left no skidmark--it's as if she just sank under the waves of time. Then there's that name. Just perform a bit of monkey business with it and she's the woman who took Gary Hart down, especially if you add in some Baby Snooks for good measure and keep your fanny out of it. The last part (come to think of it all of that line) is meant for a demographic much older than my usual. BTW, did I say I was soon to be performing on the retirement communities stand-up circuit? "Take my walker, please!" "I just got out of bed today, and boy is all of me tired!" "Why did the chicken cross the road? He doesn't know, he's got Alzheimer's too!" I'm going to kill them--just like an Obama Death Panel! Sorry, got pulled away from my initial goal as if I was tied to a speed boat helmed by Mario Andretti. The good news is I never got to what I did find on the internets--that water skiing can cause either a "water skiing douche" or "water skiing enema" (not medical terms). I'm such a pussy that I'll just have to leave that discussion behind.

(7 of 31 in the drive to 2500)