Further Fables of Francine Fishpaw

History makes strange bedfellows (unlike, say, the Minneapolis airport, which makes strange stallmates). This Friday would be the birthday of both LaWanda Page and Harris Glenn Milstead. My guess is as many of you are excited about this news as were excited by the Diamondbacks-Rockies NLCS, but that's because you don't know these two intrepid thespians by their names, but by their signature roles. Page played Aunt Esther on "Sanford & Son" while Milstead played Divine, John Water's redoubtable (not to be confused with Mrs. Redoubtablefire, of course) star. So I was thinking (really, it does happen sometimes!) it might be fun to imagine each in the other's role. There's Divine telling Redd Foxx to "Watch it, sucka!" And there's poor Wanda eating dogshit at the end of "Pink Flamingos." OK, only one of these changes is funny. Eating shit is never funny. Life's that way--and by way I mean full of shit-eating and unfunniness--sometimes. Just as it's actually true Page performed with RuPaul in the 1990s, which is just funny odd, not funny ha-ha. What a drag.