Monday, August 27, 2007

When Things Got Cheeky at the Department of Just-Ass

I don't know if you caught this, but spotted on the D.C. Craig's List "strictly platonic" board today was this entry:

Married Latino male looking for "bossman" who wants complete servitude--not even laws will get in the way of my adoration. You don't need to be too smart or too cute, just desirous of devotion. I promise to laugh at all your fart jokes and your imitations of women on death row (in fact, I'll help you put to death as many convicts as you like). I will never laugh when your grammar isn't the goodest. And even if I did, I won't remember anything you've ever done wrong. Especially if questioned under oath.

I'm into torture (of others--don't get any ideas!), purging US Attorneys who aren't good Republican soldiers, justifying spying on all Americans in case they don't support you the government. I find walks on the beach and the Geneva Conventions quaint. I can make John Ashcroft seem moderate, although, alas, I can't hold a tune the way that fine tenorino can. Then again, I will lie if it makes you smile. And it will.

I've got lots of time on my hands soon, so drop me an email, but not to my work email.

P.S. I'm much cuter than Skeletor, even if he has my job soon.

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27 Comments:

Blogger Mike said...

Pretty good.

5:24 AM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

Pretty lame. You folks may have gotten your way with the AG, but you'll never get your blue line!

7:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MCConfrontation,

What makes you think that those in support of canning the AG are in support of the blueline? I happen to support the AG's termination but am opposed to the blueline.

8:18 AM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

Sorry for the mis-generalization. I know that George, The Average Man, and Trekking Left were all likely problueline as they are all hysterical global apocalypse honks. They are also Bush haters of the highest order, therefore they support ANYTHING that goes against the Bush doctrine. I'm mostly speaking to them when I post here. I didn't mean to paint anyone else blue.

Oh and George, I do like the term "Just-ass." That WAS quite clever.

9:24 AM  
Blogger ahab said...

But can you do it all while never wiping the insolent smirk off your face?

11:42 AM  
Blogger George said...

Ahab, are you asking me, me as Alberto, or me as my reactionary creation McC?

12:12 PM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

ahab: probably not.

the smirk is there because i am amused by george's ramblings, and his POV.

my insolence is merely your perception. seriously, i don't try to be rude. crude sometimes, but not rude. and i do brood. in the nude. dude.

12:38 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

"Pretty lame. You folks may have gotten your way with the AG, but you'll never get your blue line!"

Funny how McMoron says "pretty lame" and then posts about as lame a comment as possible.

2:41 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

"I know that George, The Average Man, and Trekking Left ..."

None of them wrote that Craigslist ad, dumbass. And they are hardly the only ones with a negative view of AG -- many Republicans do too. As for global warming, see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_opinion_on_climate_change

But as Rob Corddry noted on the Jon Stewart show, "established, incontravertible fact is one side of the story ... How does one report the facts in an unbiased way when the facts themselves are biased? ... From the names of our fallen soldiers to the gradual withdrawal of our allies to the growing insurgency, it’s become all too clear that facts in Iraq have an anti-Bush agenda."

Y'see, it's the facts themselves that hate Bush, disapprove of Gonzales, and are "hysterical" over global warming, so don't blame us.

3:01 PM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

i love how this self-proclaimed genius JQB is always referring to wikipedia. dude, if you can't reference it in college, it's not a real reference.

also, rob from the daily show is a COMEDIAN.

when i said you'll never get your blue line, man, i was making a joke. why do you have to be such a humorless bastard all the time?

theres a reason why when i called out george and the guys over at the average man blog that i didnt mention you, JQB. it's because id rather keep your name out of my mouth.

4:51 PM  
Blogger ahab said...

Ahab, are you asking me, me as Alberto, or me as my reactionary creation McC?

You as Alberto, George. Your McStunt thing is too authentically moronic to be of much continuing interest to me. Sorry.

McColbert he is not.

6:52 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

i love how this self-proclaimed genius JQB is always referring to wikipedia.

Better than just making up whatever comes into your stupid head, idiot.

dude, if you can't reference it in college, it's not a real reference.

This isn't a college paper, moron. And all the statements in the Wikipedia article have citations, something you're too stupid to comprehend, or too dishonest to acknowledge. Your blithe discounting of anything that challenges your beliefs is your primary mechanism for remaining dumb as dirt.

also, rob from the daily show is a COMEDIAN.

Yes, that's the POINT, cretin. Corddry is parodying imbeciles like yourself. The humor is in the core truth -- that it's that facts themselves that contradict everything you believe. It's the facts themselves that demonstrate that you are not only incredibly stupid, but have no intellectual scruples.

3:22 AM  
Blogger jqb said...

why do you have to be such a humorless bastard all the time?

For someone who calls himself "mcconfrontation", you certainly are a pussy.

3:26 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Cretins, and imbeciles, and pussies, oh my. Now now, children, let's all behave ourselves, shall we?

In a way, George, I guess having a few regular trolls is a helluva compliment.

And what's this Blue Line? Is Santa Barbara getting a short rail?

(Damn Communists.)

5:53 AM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

My my, mrs. jqb, you reverted back to the elementary school recess yard quicker than John Kerry flip flopping on the war.

So according to you I'm a lame, dumbass, idiot, stupid head, moron, dumb as dirt, cretin, unscrupulous, imbecile, who is also a pussy. I believe that this proves you are a very, very immature woman, mrs. jqb. I have but one thing to say in reply to your attacks: I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I? no wait i remember another one: I'M RUBBER AND YOU'RE GLUE - WHATEVER YOU SAY BOUNCES OFF ME AND STICKS TO YOU.

I actually liked "stupid head" though. I haven't heard that one since my four year old niece was fighting with her older sister over the Barbie doll. Stupid head! Hilarious!

Sorry George, for contributing to the utter breakdown of maturity in this thread. In my defense I will only say: SHE STARTED IT!

7:33 AM  
Blogger jqb said...

Like I said, you're a pussy and an imbecile. An utter coward who hasn't even the balls to honestly address a wikipedia article. You can play around all you want, but it will never make you right about global warming or anything else.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous numfar said...

Completely off-topic George, but I'm just wondering: In light of Sen. Craig's restroom escapade, is it fair now to assume that all sex-obsessed, fire-breathing moralizers of the GOP are closet cases?

8:59 AM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

is this gal for real?

seriously, what is more pussy than anonymously calling someone else a pussy on the internets? this has gotten a bit out of hand. this is why my wife doesnt want me to put a picture of myself and my new baby daughter on my blog, for fear of wackos like this chick.

i didnt want to do this because i clearly stated that id like to keep your name ERRRRRR initials out of my mouth, but congratulations, you got me lady. I'll be in the parking lot behind the bus station about 1130 today eating on a nortons cheesesteak. i'll be sporting my fitted yankee hat. i want to give you a chance to transform yourself from mrs. jqb into the man you think you are.

sorry george. after this incident is all over i promise never to address this sorry POS in your forum again. this is ridiculous.

9:08 AM  
Blogger George said...

OK, everyone. New rules. No name calling, no matter how stupid you think a person's comment is. And a person's comment is not a person--so any use of ad hominem attacks either at others leaving comments or even public figures (i.e. the ridiculously reductive "pantsuit" for Senator Clinton--gee, she's a woman, let's pretend we're being funny while spreading off-the-shelf misogyny) will mean I'm going to erase your comment.

We can argue with each other's ideas, but name-calling reduces all of us, and there's plenty in the world that does that to all of us as it is.

9:34 AM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

for the record i was in the lot from 1115 to 1145 and aside from the funny looks i got for standing on the wall waiting on that guy to back himself up it was an uneventful 30 minutes.

where were you jqb?

on the plus side, while they are a little pricey ($10 for a sandwich?), nortons does make an excellent cheesesteak. if you havent tried it i suggest you do so; they are very tasty.

one final note, i'm a little disappointed that i can't use the pantsuit blast here anymore. that's okay, i guess that's what the minority report is for (santabarbaraminorityreport.blogspot.com). If unfiltered is to your taste that's where you'll find me.

cheers.

12:09 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

where were you jqb?

I was doing something intelligent. Courage has nothing to do with physical violence.

3:29 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

I'll make one of my points again:

All the statements in the Wikipedia article have citations. There's no honest way to get around the fact that almost every scientific climate studies organization in the world accepts the fact of global warming, and that human industry plays a significant role. Treating that which challenges one's beliefs with facile and fallacious dismissals is a path toward retaining false beliefs, and having a fistfight in the parking lot won't change that. Being intellectually honest requires real courage.

3:36 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

waiting on that guy to back himself up

I did back myself up, with

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_opinion_on_climate_change

An honest response remains in absentia.

3:46 PM  
Blogger MCConfrontation said...

whatever dude. you've called me an asshole on my blog, you called me a pussy twice in this thread, and to cap it all off you sent the ultimate insult my way: "stupid head."

i think it was the stupid head blast that put me over the edge.

you backed up none of your juvenile namecalling, and i do not believe that you occupy any of your time doing anything "intelligent." youre a real tough guy in here, calling out people for posting comments anonymously when you yourself are anonymous and will always be so because you refuse to back up your insults. we're all freaking anonymous! you think i know what george's last name is or where he lives?

im putting you in a permanent timeout. you can call me a pussy all you want and you'll only be discrediting yourself.

4:39 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

You're mistaken on a number of points. I have never called people out for posting anonymously, but rather for posting as "anonymous", making it impossible to connect one comment with another. As for the "s.h." comment, it seems you misread it. In any case, I find your focus on what I have called you to be a convenient excuse to avoid the facts, which are of considerably greater significance. None of us have any "credit" worth mentioning -- that's why I provide citations.

5:18 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

And I will say again that I find it ironic that you call yourself "mcconfrontation", given how you react to being confronted.

5:19 PM  
Blogger jqb said...

And of course I do back up my insults, with explanations for them. As I've noted twice, treating that which challenges one's beliefs with facile and fallacious dismissals leaves one in a certain condition that I have colorfully characterized. And I think the notion that the only way to "back up" one's assertions is some sort of physical exchange further backs them up.

5:25 PM  

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