Here Comes the Groom

Friday would be the 152nd birthday of King Camp Gillette, who was named, yes, after the wonderful site along Lake Titicaca where royalty, as youth, used to wile away their summers, waiting for their beanies to turn into crowns and for the day when they could short sheet entire countries. (I know you know I'm lying. The camp wasn't at Lake Titicaca, but it's so much fun to write the word I can't help myself--that spot is the Uranus of Bolivia.) (Of course all world leaders spent their summers at Camp Crystal Lake.) Oddly, Gillette is recalled as the inventor of the safety razor, but in reality he invented the safety dance and performed it with his band Men without Beards, which perhaps led to the confusion. Speaking of confusion, I can never remember, is Gillette the tall one or the one who is silent?

I'm going to cut this one short, for time is bleeding away from me as I feel the shadow of five o'clock descend.