Sunday, December 31, 2006

Funereal World: New Jersey

Thanks, all of you, who have contacted me via email or blog--I appreciate all the comfort.

Of course, knowing me I have to resort to dark humor for everything, even upon such a loss. It doesn't help when the funeral home bills itself a "life transition center," and I have to stop myself from asking, "If we bury my mom in a coffin for two, can she use the diamond lane to get to heaven?" Even going somewhat cheaply on what euphemistically gets called "the merchandise" (i.e. the coffin), it's not cheap to die, so be sure you have an extra $10 grand to blow, and my mom already had a mausoleum space purchased. Speaking of that, the crypts seem so odd, like you're filing away your loved one's remains. At least my mom is top drawer for eternity. I just wish the cemetery didn't have the weird, if probably chemically necessary, need to cover the casket in plastic, so it looks like some grandma's impossible to stain sofa.

One final bit of advice to those attending wakes--don't do what a friend of my sister's did. Somehow after hugging saying, "Tomorrow will be the worst day of your life," isn't exactly comfort.


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