Thursday, October 05, 2006

The News-Press Says the News-Press Is the Greatest, According to the News-Press

I never had the time, thanks to my cold, which was no doubt caused by the vast conspiracy of those pro-dense-growth in Santa Barbara who hate turkeys...oops, turned into Wendy McCaw there--I must really be sick.

What I was going to say is I never got around to analyzing the latest missive from the News-Press and their publicity flack Agnes Huff (as in what she should leave in). That a newspaper has to communicate via press releases should be sign enough something is wrong, but things are so wrong in McCaw-ville because Wendy's heart is two sizes too small (just the right fit for the Nipper, luckily, just as long as Wendy's bank account is a million sizes too big).

SANTA BARBARA, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--The Santa Barbara News-Press issued the following statement:
Today, the Santa Barbara News-Press filed objections with the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) regarding the election conduct of the Graphic Communications Conference of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. These objections are filed in accordance with NLRB rules and regulations.

See? We are fair. And we will tell you so.

The News-Press believes the conduct of the union affected the results of the September 27, 2006 election.

Really? You mean, the union wasn't supposed to try to get people to vote for it? They're not the Democratic Party after all.

The company’s objections focus on Teamster campaign strategies and conduct, including union coercion of employees, circulation of false and misleading information and potential criminal threats against the company.

Funny complaints from the very people who installed a lawyer in the publisher's office. Who sat down every employee and discussed how bad unions were. Who brought in a manager and grilled her about unions and when she didn't say she found them as repulsive as people who wanted to raise taxes on the rich, she soon found herself without a job.

Plus, Wendy, Arthur, and Travis have all circulated false and misleading information. I don't hear the Teamsters calling them on that. (Oh, yeah, people saw through their BS. So if the union really did lie, that means Wendy, Arthur, and Travis think all the employees are dupes. Nothing like that vote of confidence from your employer.)

As for the criminal threats, they are referring to an anonymous comment on a blog. Which, for all anyone knows, might have been posted by Agnes of G--, Wendy, or one of her minions. (Anyone who stresses she has a Ph.D. and is not in academia is either a charlatan advice columnist or a hack who hopes she can charge more to cover those ancient student loans she stil has to pay back, because she didn't get enough student aid through grad school.)

The NLRB regulations provide for an investigation of the objections or challenges by the agency’s Regional Director. The company’s objections to the election are consistent with the Unfair Labor Practice charge previously filed against the union by the paper.

Brilliantly winning logic--the News-Press insists what it says now is correct, as it agrees with what it said before. After all, the more times you lie about someone, the truer that lie becomes.

The News-Press is committed to ensuring that all actions and outcomes associated with this union campaign, including the recently held election, are found to be fair, legal and according to the rules and regulations set forth by the NLRB.

The unsaid here is: "Of course, we were committed to the union vote never happening, and you all saw how that turned out."

Separately, the company announced that two newsroom employees resigned today: copy editor Al Bonowitz and reporter Starshine Roshell. News-Press Associate Editor Scott Steepleton said, “While most of the former newsroom employees who resigned acted professionally, I was taken aback by Ms. Roshell’s use of profanity as she turned in her resignation letter.”

First, check out the way the capitalization works in those sentences. Guess you lose your upper-case status if you quit. Of course, the sentence also ignores how many other things both Bonowitz and Roshell did for the paper--Al was the Travel Editor and did illustrations, Starshine wrote a column that was one of the things people looked forward to reading, till Wendy/Arthur/Travis (the unholy trinity?) took it away from her. Plus she often filled in as Life Editor or Scene Editor (back in the days when Gary Robb was stil around--one of the first people, actually, to get offed by the recent bloodletting).

Second, as we've learned from Craig Smith, Starshine said, "Fuck you." Oh, poor Scott Steepleton's sensitive ears. I bet they're still bleeding. No, this is just more character assassination, from the people who brought you the legal actions against Jerry Roberts and Michael Todd.

Third, the release says "while most...acted professionally." Don't you want to know what those not part of the most did? Maybe they made fun of Steepleton's clothing? Or insulted his taste in music? What kind of people were working at that paper?!

Irrespective of challenging events during the last few months, News-Press operations have not been affected and the paper continues to publish daily, just as it has for the last century. The focus remains on getting past the issues and improving the paper, the news coverage and the service the News-Press provides to the Santa Barbara community.

Now dear old Dr. (of Physiology? oops, wrong N-P flunky) Huff probably choose "irrespective" because on the Free Online Dictionary one of the literary examples came from Nietzsche, and that kind of thought goes a long way with Wendy. But for a paper to say its ultimate goal is to keep coming out daily.... Sure, the paper is ever-shrinking, with more wire stories and less and less interest, but, gee, what do you people want from the News-Press? "Getting past the issues" isn't that easy now, when there's so few people of any talent left to help do that. Particularly when all you do is antagonize everyone involved with the issues. And by everyone I actually mean everyone. Sorry, except for the 6 people who voted against the union.


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