We're Number [Hiccup]!

Forbes, as you would expect from a business magazine, is interested in how much America drinks. Therefore they published a report on "America's Drunkest Cities." First, I am saddened to think that I've lived in only 1 of the top 40, and at that Baltimore has to share its ranking, just like it's an airport, with D.C. (Note: I never drove drunk between the two, and even if I did that was before MADD invented drunk driving. You could be eighteen and drink back then. And all the tvs were in black and white.)

Proudly sliding into the Number 1 position like Bernie Brewer sloshing into his mega-beer mug is Milwaukee. As Forbes explains:

Milwaukee has long had a reputation as a city built on beer. It was once the nation's top beer-producing city, home to four of the world's largest breweries: Schlitz, Pabst, Miller and Blatz. Legendary sitcom characters Laverne and Shirley fixed bottle caps on one of the city's assembly lines. Even the name of the town's baseball team--The Brewers--alludes to its boozy past. Today, Miller Brewing, now a subsidiary of SABMiller, is the only major brewery left in town, but other major corporations call the city home, including Harley-Davidson, Briggs & Stratton, and Manpower.

That last sentence might explain a lot--Milwaukee is now a town of hog driving, lawnmower pushing, part-timers. Sounds like a land looking for a drink to me.