Thursday, August 24, 2006

Long Snake Moon on a Blog

You'd have to figure I couldn't pass up writing about something called the Great Moon Hoax, particularly when it involves John Hershel, the guy who named the satellites around Uranus. (Speaking of which, we saw some skinny gal get butt implant surgery last night on the Health Channel and just remembering it means I can't go eat lunch.) It seems on this day in 1835 the New York Sun began a series that claimed Hershel spotted whole worlds on the moon with fantastic creatures including bat-like winged humanoids. It turns out this was all a ploy to get circulation up, but the secret real writer of the series was cryogenically stashed away and defrosted to help the Bush White House with intelligence prior to the Iraq War. Seems many weapons of mass destruction look like bat-like humanoids in satellite photos.

Meanwhile the real Hershel was blacklisted during the 1950s and later the voice of Charley who never got to be a Starkist tuna (and what was with his desire to be eaten? almost as strange as thinking one needs surgery to fill out one's bikini bottom) and the "ho, ho, ho" voice of the Jolly Green Giant, who come to think of it was probably so jolly because he was too large to be devoured and got to send all the tinier vegetables off to their deaths.

Oh, wait, that's Herschel Bernardi. At least I left Herschel Walker out of it. Like the world needs more USFL jokes.


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