Bush the Brave

Proving his bravery yet again, President Bush went before a hostile crowd in Salt Lake City, Utah, since all the halls in Berkeley, California were booked fror the night of his speaking engagment. In a talk to a convention of Veterans of Foreign Wars, who just happened to be staying at the same hotel as the president, Bush again linked the Iraq war with efforts to protect the United States from another September 11-style attack, according to Reuters. "Iraq is a central front in the war on terror," Bush said. "It is a vital part of our mission."

Indeed, he went on to say, "We made it a vital part of our mission, and a central front in the war on terror. After all, it was easy to demonize Saddam, we all want their oil, and most Americans, that is, real Americans, don't quite trust Middle Easterners, anyway. What's especially handy is that those who don't like the U.S. in that region find it much simpler to kill our soldiers there than bother to plan to come here and kill our civilians." After pausing, he added, "We're sorry to say London and Madrid are closer to Iraq than the U.S.--no boat trip necessary."