Thursday, July 28, 2005

Spud Blossom

It was 419 years ago today that Sir Thomas Harriot introduced potatoes to Europe. Harriot said, "Potatoes, Europe...Europe, some tubers that will cause a whole heap of trouble in Ireland in 260 years, but we will all be dead by then, so who has the recipe to get vodka out of these things!"

Harriot brought the potato to Europe from Colombia. Many Europeans were upset that he didn't bring something else from Colombia, especially the ones who ended up with starchy paste stuck up their nostrils. Don't believe for a second it was snuff. Alas, things did not turn out well for Harriot, who was assassinated in a carriage-by musketing by a Colombian Potato Lord in a deal that went bad in 1587 in South Central London. Rumors that he was shot by a potato gun are unfounded, despite shocking footage of starchy carnage.

Bonus limerick!

There once was a man named Thomas Harriot
Who was saddened his name rhymed with Iscariot.
Worse, he had a daughter named Ben
Who didn't understand her name till when
Her father handed her the keys to the chariot.


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