Was It Mark Felt in the Parking Garage with the Deep Throat?

Now that one great mystery has been solved, as we have learned that it was Mark Felt who played "Deep Throat" (note that porn actors don't age well)(oh, that was Linda Lovelace--never mind), that still leaves one great unaswered question from 1973: why did anyone listen to Jim Stafford's "Spiders & Snakes"? (And guess what, a quick Google shows he has a theatre, yep an "re" theatre for that touch of class, named after him in Branson, which must be the Hellmouth, all apologies to Sunnydale.)

Actually, that's not THE great 1973 mystery, at least according to USA Today, which should know mysteries, as it likes to call itself a newspaper. It seems the real mystery is who was Carly Simon singing about in her hit "You're So Vain." (Which, of course, avoids the obvious question, if "you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you" is true, then the song is really about someone else not vain enough to think the song is about him, but then that person isn't so vain...we just got lost on a moebius strip, I think.)

What else would you expect for someone whose height of anticipation is waiting for the Heinz to drip?