Bush Tries to Save Bonds, Not Treasury Bonds

Continuing his string of controversial appointments, President Bush today named Jim Caviezel as the new James Bond. "Jesus, he has the perfect passion for the role, and can do sequels as he's risen from the dead," Bush said. The White House also announced that Barbara and Jenna Bush will also appear as Bond Girls, now that Jenna has experience on film. Tentative title for the film is Hexadecapussy.

Producer Barbara Broccoli, who it is rumored Bush has a distaste for, was not shaken or stirred by this announcement.