If It Made Cents I Wouldn't Feel Dolorous

Perhaps it's true we get the government that reflects our very own ugly selves. Or perhaps I'm not the only one whose eyes glaze like donuts (but aren't as tasty) when figuring out figures is involved. But here's the latest from the AP on the U.S. economy:

Americans' incomes, bolstered by strong gains in hiring, rose by 0.3 percent in February while consumer spending climbed at an even faster pace of 0.5 percent, the government reported Thursday.

Now, supposedly that's good news. But this Milo Minderbinder-esque situation seems to say, "I made 3 more cents on the dollar last month, so to celebrate I'm going to spend 5 more cents on the dollar! I'm so rich!"

I'm also pretty convinced that economists just make stuff up to make my eyes glaze in an effort to protect their turf from those of us with a shred of common sense. That lead of the story talks about "strong gains in hiring," but then in paragraph 5, we get this line:

Meanwhile, the Labor Department said that the number of Americans filing new claims for unemployment benefits rose by 20,000 to 350,000 last week. It was the highest level for jobless claims in 11 weeks.

So we have both strong gains in hiring and the highest level for jobless claims in weeks. Seems the analyst for this article was "Ox" E. Moron.