Monday, February 07, 2005

The Sick Sense

President Bush's budget is out and it's so scary it could leave Haley Joel Osment saying, "I see dead programs." Here's a particularly ugly factoid from the New York Times:

Mr. Bush seeks a $38 million increase in programs promoting sexual abstinence, which would bring the total to $192.5 million in 2006, an increase of more than 50 percent since 2004.

Now, President Bush is supposed to be a conservative, and I always thought one of their mantras was "you can't fix education by throwing money at it." Evidently they believe you can keep teens virgins by throwing money at them, and I can only imagine that Health and Human Services is currently working on a strict testing standard to be sure all the so-called virgins are really, truly still flowered.

And for Bush's sake he better hope the Eagle Forum and that hunka-hunka burning babe Phyllis Schlafly (if she doesn't want feminism she shouldn't bitch about a bit of objectification) don't get wind of his plans. After all just last August she wrote, "The liberals' solution is always to throw more money at the problem" of education in a screed against the National Education Association, a threat to America right up there with Osama Been Forgotten. After all, if a single teacher is bad, a bunch organized can only be worse.

Schlafly opens this attack (a conservative's intro is any words before they drag out Hillary Clinton to say BOO--it takes Schafly 528 words) with the following that should serve as a diagnostic tool for one's ability to reason--if you agree with her, you can't:

The NEA's lobbying goals for public schools include federal funding for public school child care, early childhood programs that are school-based, before- and after-school programs, big spending for school counselors, school-based health care for children, and of course increased federal spending for education.

The NEA's non-education-related lobbying goals include funding for the National Endowment for the Arts, a national universal health care system, reparations to African Americans, statehood for the District of Columbia, taxpayer funding of federal elections, and a national holiday for Cesar Chavez.

She doesn't like these things. She and people like her are in charge. To illustrate the true ugliness of the world we live in, let's reverse just the second paragraph above as a sort of experiment:

The Eagle Forum's non-education-related lobbying goals include severely limiting the amount of arts that are created and presented in the United States, making sure only the rich can have adequate health care, pretending that slavery never happened, keeping those upty Democratic black folk in D.C. disenfranchised, defending the right of only the richest Americans to run for office, and demonizing Latinos, especially those who stand up for themselves and make us feel guilty about eating grapes.

To that lovely list Schlafly and Co. can add "and no condoms. For that we'll pay a lot of money."


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