Thursday, February 03, 2005

If Your Life Sucks...

...celebrate Create a Vacuum Day! (AKA Scare Jittery Household Pets Day) Believe it or not, February 4 is just that. It seems people have nothing better to do than give days capital-D Days--for instance, Saturday the odds are 50/50 it will be Weatherpersons Day, but since it falls on a weekend this year, it's Substitute Weatherpersons Day, which means anyone with OK enough legs and a short enough skirt, meteorological degree be damned, gets honored.

Meanwhile back to sucking, I would have thought we had enough of a vacuum created when Bush gave his State of the Union Address, but it seems there's more--you can even suck an egg into a bottle and throw a party for that special moment. I'll let you all go see for yourselves, but I'm not sure I advocate anything that involves playing with matches, unless you invite me over.

And for those of you who were wondering (this means you, curious person in the back there, no, the other curioser person), vacuum is one of 5 words in English with back-to-back "U"s. Here's a sentence that uses the other four, and you'll see why three of the words aren't used often:

"On the continuum of weirdness, taking a triduum to discover a menstruum that doesn't leave residuum is way up there."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...put Vaseline on the egg and use a hammer..." goes well with a sherry enema.

8:19 AM  

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