Monday, November 22, 2004

The Greeks Had a Word for Them

It seems that those gay marriage bans also work retroactively. This just in from IMDB:

"The makers of Collin Farrell's upcoming epic Alexander are facing the threat of lawsuit, for claiming warrior Alexander The Great was bisexual. A group of furious Greek lawyers insist the legendary conqueror was heterosexual, and they're now looking into suing film studio Warner Bros and director Oliver Stone for claims to the contrary....[Yannis] Varnakos [spokeseman for the lawsuit] says that Stone has the right to freely express himself - but the audience has the right to know the director is tampering with history. He adds, 'We cannot come out and say that (former US) President John F. Kennedy was a shooting guard for the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team and so Warner cannot come out and say Alexander was gay.'"

Well, duh, the Lakers didn't move to Los Angeles until 1960, and JFK clearly wasn't playing for them while he was president. You do have to hand it to Varnakos for claiming that Kennedy was a scoring guard, though.

In a related story, a representative for a group of Neanderthals are threatening to sue Hanna-Barbera for insinuating that Fred and Barney "were more than just friends" in several episodes of The Flintstones. Neanderthal spokesman Stu P. Denda claims, "C'mon, everyone knows what it means when you and your best friend share a troublesome Great Gazoo."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your best. Lyrically laughable. Probably should drop "duh," but I quibble.


9:24 PM  

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