All You Need Is Love...And Lots and Lots of Children

I like my religious blowhards uptight and self-righteous; the ones who try to be humorous are more dangerous, as some folks might get suckered in by their folkiness. That's why I never could heart Mike Huckabee, and it seems he's not going away, especially as he's got a book to flog (amazingly called Do the Right Thing--do you think he's ever even seen the film? Spike Lee must be rolling over in the Knicks' grave) and since Huckabee is known as a good interview, he'll be everywhere.

Like on Jon Stewart the other night. Lots of folks have written about this appearance, but one bit that popped out in the transcription Melissa McEwan so kindly provided over at Shakesville, was this:

Well, but, there's a difference between the equality of each individual and the equality of what we do, and the sameness of what we do. I mean, the fact is, marriage is, under our law, a privilege. It's not an absolute divine right.

Stop right there, Mikey. Did you just say, "Marriage, under our law, is not a divine right"? Thanks for giving your game away. Our law isn't divine--get your creepy, bigoted god created in your own image out of my Constitution.

Actually too bad marriage isn't Divine, then we'd get beyond all this and solve real problems. It's like having to re-fight Roe v. Wade for 35 years--instead of trying to accomplish even more in the struggle for gender equality, we have to keep winning the battle we already won.

I will also try not to expend even more words on the lame-o argument of yours that angers the not-having-a-child-yet-married me, "I mean, let's face it, the entire purpose of a marriage is not just to create the next generation, but it's to train our replacements." Beyond the stupid thinking that says "the whole point is A...oh and B" as that's giving 110%, we can procreate really well without getting married. Just ask Bristol Palin. And what the fuck does "train our replacements" mean? Let's get those soldiers, I mean, children, through bootcamp, huh. Talk about your culture wars.

You Can Ride the Dinosaur, Just Don't Ride the Dinosaur

OK, I realize it's silly for me to look for logic in a person who thinks humans rode dinosaurs (did we do it bareback or saddle?), but that Mike Huckabee can be considered a viable political candidate by a major political party for national office in 2008 simply stuns me. Here are two quotes from him from a recent interview with Beliefnet:

The Bible was not written to be amended. The Constitution was. Without amendments to the Constitution, women couldn’t vote, African-Americans wouldn’t be considered people. We have had to historically go back and to clarify, because there’ve been injustices made because the Constitution wasn’t as clear as it needed to be, and that’s the point.

[...]

And the same thing would be true of marriage. Marriage has historically, as long as there’s been human history, meant a man and a woman in a relationship for life. Once we change that definition, then where does it go from there?

So history was wrong about African-Americans being enslaved and women getting the right to vote, but the reason we can't re-think marriage is history is never wrong.

It seems some folks end up men of faith because they don't have enough sense to be men of reason.

(Please note I never even got to the part where he equated homosexuality with bestiality: "I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal." That line is so offensive you might even miss the dig on Mormon Mitt in its middle.)