Well-Practiced in Fiddling When There's Burning

Former Presidential aide Karl Rove announced today that he is immediately taking a job supervising the fight to stop the Zaca Fire in the backcountry of Santa Barbara County that has now burned 101,472 acres and has cost 69.2 million dollars. While critics questioned Rove's preparation for this new undertaking, others suggested he was perfect for the job given his experience managing situations out of control.

From a special, fire-safe bunker in Montecito (rumored to be in the Four Seasons Resort) Rove issued his first statement on the fire: "There is no doubt we're winning this war. For if we don't fight the fire on the other side of the mountains, we will have to fight it here. I am amazed so many naysayers do not want to support our firefighters."

It is also rumored that Rove has been consulting with County Supervisors Brooks Firestone, Joni Gray [ed. note: spelling fixed--thanks, David], and Joseph Centeno and Governor Schwarzenegger, hoping they will do all they can to lower taxes on the region.

Meanwhile Grover Norquist was just about ready to drown the shrunken government and its services in a bathtub, but unfortunately the drought caused by global warming meant his bathtub's spigot ran dry.

(thanks to Esau and Trekking Left for their contributions to this idea)