Thursday, March 05, 2009

A Banker by Any Other Name

Friday would be the 550th birthday of Jacob Fugger, a German banker sometimes called Jacob the Rich. Or, as some referred him, "He's one rich Fugger." His dad was Hans Fugger, but obviously not *just* that as Jacob was his son. (keep reading that sentence--aloud if necessary--if you missed the joke)(if the joke missed you, sorry for jerking you around) What's less known is Jacob's mom was the true key to the family's fortunes. Hans was a weaver, and he was able to do more weaving than most because of his special gear driven loom. Since oil was scarce in Germany years before wars for oil, Madame Fugger opted to use her own saliva to grease the gears, and this worked wonderfully, particularly after dinners featuring her very heavy, overly-oiled pork cutlets. That is why she was often called a cog-sucking mother Fugger. Jacob, meanwhile, helped secure the election of Charles V as Holy Roman Emperor in 1519 by bribing the electors. For some reason Charles V was very nice to him after that, and a bunch of other little banking fuggers get TARP money to this day.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Maxwell said...

“WE DISCOVERED THAT IT WAS OK TO HAVE A LITTLE HIGH-BROW AS LONG YOU HAVE A LOT OF LOW-BROW. THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT VALUE. THE ONE THING YOU WANT TO AVOID IS THE MIDDLE BROW, BECAUSE THE WHOLE WORLD IS FRIGGING MIDDLE BROW AT THE MOMENT.”

Sucess!

6:48 PM  

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