Going for Broke

The AP reports, in a story ominously titled "Bush Says He's Working Hard on Economic Turmoil"--gee, what else can he do to screw things up?--that the White House has a plan as to how to stop our economy from going Chernobyl. The story claims:

"The American people can be sure we will continue to act to strengthen and stabilize our financial markets and improve investor confidence," the president said.

Bush did not specify what those steps might be. White House press secretary Dana Perino said she could not comment on them, either. "That's something I'm not at liberty to talk about," she said.

Perino went on to say: "After all, if we said what we were going to do, the terrorists would know. Then they could thwart all our striving. You know, keeping the free world free, except for having to pay for huge companies that fail. That part's not free, but it's the price we have to pay to live in a democracy, at least in the ways we define democracy. Not that we can tell you those or else the terrorists would know."

Asked for a comment about the economy, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain replied, "When I spent five and half years in a cell in Vietnam I would have loved to have an economy to worry about. Now I have to go and find Spain on a map, excuse me." When asked the same question, Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin said, "Maybe the country could just have a baby? That always picks me up."