His Hind Was Golden

It was on April 4 1581 that Francis Drake completed his circumnavigation of the world. Before circumnavigation, men had to wash more, but as this was a long time ago before bathing was invented, they didn't, hence the term the Dark Ages. Drake is a controversial figure--a hero in England, but a slave trader to Africans and a pirate to the Spanish. Which just goes to show everyone has their good sides and bad sides. Perspective and balance is important, but when riding the teeter-totter of truth, always sit on the side with the heaviest people. Many of the heaviest people became that way by eating Drake's Cakes, but that's nothing to yodel about (I can hear you non-North Easterners ho-ho-ing over that one). If you're wondering, Drake died of dysentery (known as the more descriptive "bloody flux," as they didn't bathe their language back then, either), but history is silent about if he got it from a Ring Ding or a Devil Dog.

Oh, and for a nostalgic bonus....



Why yes, I am old enough to remember this on television, back in the days when the tube had no you before it.