Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Possession Is Nine-Tenths of the McCaw

So Wendy McCaw has opted to turn our local paper into Carpetbagger Central, first by canning all the local columnists and replacing them with Dr. (of Physiology) Laura, who, of course, comes from Planet (Self-)Righteous, and now hiring a gossip columnist who became a US citizen less than 2 months ago. Give a big Santa Barbara welcome to Richard Mineards, generally billed as one of the world's experts on the British Royal Family, as there's nothing more fascinating and pertinent to today's world than the last vestiges of monarchy and where Prince William puts the royal willie.

It seems Mineards for years wrote for the British tabloid The Daily Express, which bills itself "The World's Greatest Newspaper," so Mineards should feel right at home at the News-Press, which has an equally inflated and mistaken opinion of itself. Indeed, looking at the Wikipedia page about The Daily Express one comes across numerous ways Mineards should sense some deja vu while working for Wendy. The Express "has a reputation for consistently printing conspiracy theories" and "the paper has made such sweeping generalisations about numerous other targets."

Actually, maybe we can work out some special overseas exchange deal and keep Mineards and ship them Travis Armstrong--seems he'd fit in perfectly.

Of course Richard Desmond, owner of the Express, couldn't be less like McCaw--he had made his money owning numerous magazine titles, many salacious (such as Big Ones and Asian Babes). Yep, he made his dough off people fucking while McCaw makes do fucking people over. It's enough to make one an Anglophile.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

McCaw "makes do" or should that be "makes dough"? Either way seems to fit well enough, I guess.

The whole thing is such a pity, really, a frightful pity. (That's a lot more fun to say when affecting a strong English accent.)

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Numfar said...

What could be more natural given that Wendy's "fiance" (wink wink) is a fake baron?

Look for a regular helping of parasitic fluff on dime-store royalty, like Lord and Lady Ridley-Tree.

Jesus freaking christ on a shingle.

10:02 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Royal Family gossip???

Ugh. I have never understood how any American could give a shit about that nonsense.

I don't see how Brits could care, but Americans?!

4:47 AM  
Anonymous Starshine said...

I like your style, George; you always make me laugh. It seems fitting that McCaw would hire someone who reveres a monarch: "Maybe THIS one will know his place!"

9:45 AM  

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