Thursday, April 26, 2007

My Blog Entry with Blassie

Sometimes it seems the world just calls to INOTBB and I'm guessing you'll understand exactly why when I copy the following info from "Any-Day-in-History's" entry for April 27:

1953 Wrestler Freddie Blassie coins the term "Pencil neck geek"

Now everything I know about wrestling I learned from StrongBad, so I had to wrestle with the mighty tubes of the internets to learn more about the Classy Fred Blassie, who seems to have been the Dick Cheney of wrestling--he even was rumored to have filed his incisors down to points (in Cheney's case, that makes it easier to eat puppies). Blassie was one of wrestling's great villians, so much so according to Wikipedia "he was also stabbed 23 different times, had his car set on fire, had acid poured on him, and became blind in the right eye when a fan threw a hard-boiled egg at his face." What Wikipedia leaves out is it was a dinosaur egg, which after millenia get quite hard. I know you're wondering how it got boiled, but any intelligent design believer will tell you Adam and Eve domesticated dinos and used their eggs just like we use chicken eggs--but, alas, that dino egg gravy train ended when the dastardly serpent made the susceptible and of-course less smart Eve get us all banished from Eden, a lost Paradise of hard-boiled dino egg good eatin'. Of course, there are benefits to being damned, and one of those was Dr. Demento, who regularly played Blassie's blissfully bumptious recording of "Pencil Neck Geek" which concluded: "They say, 'These geeks come a dime a dozen.' /I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes./It's gonna be real hard times for all of these/grit eatin',/scum suckin',/boot lickin',/drop kickin',/ gut grindin',/nail bitin',/glue sniffin',/scab pickin',/butt scratchin',/egg hatchin',/sleezy,/smelly,/pepper bellied,/ dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks./Nothing but a pencil neck geek." Them's wrestling words!

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Blogger Mike said...

Great stuff. During the small window when I was into the WWF (~1981-1984), Classy Fred Blassey was a manager. Along with The Grand Wizard of Wrestling & Captain Lou Albino (pre-Cyndi Lauper videos), he managed a lot the bad guys, including George "The Animal" Steele.

I thought he was hilarious, and hoped he'd rant at least once during every broadcast.

Didn't he used to carry a cane, which he'd use to hit his guys' opponents when the ref wasn't looking?

(And no, I didn't "date" much from ~1981-1984.)

3:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's talk Olympic Auditorium, Fifties and Sixties. Gene Labell and his charming mom...Tricky Ricky Starr...Sky-High was such high drama at bargain prices. Having been so aculturated, I went on to produce a major-league ABC-Disney pilot staring Rowdy Roddy Piper and Jesse The Body Ventura...Would've been a great long-running series were it not for the mini-minds at ABC/Disney having a pissing contest over budgetary minutia. We're talking morons the ilk of Iger-Katzenberg arguing over whether or not Roddy Piper's trunks were the right color. Long story short, wrestling was and remains opera of the most American sort. Cheers for bringing Freddie B back to mind. He's right up there in the pantheon with Mr. Moto et al!

11:23 AM  
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7:25 AM  

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