Friday, March 16, 2007

My Own Private News-Press

Dr. (of Physiology) Laura is back at the News-Press just in time to save the world from its greatest scourge--blogs! (As you know, there's no point in linking as you have to subscribe for such wit, wisdom, and intellectual property.) Seems she's done with the "abundance of media travel responsibilities" that most honest people would call "out flogging the new book" and ready to take on all comers in Santa Barbara. She mostly complains about anonymous comments on blogs, and, of course, having actually talked to numerous anonymi, psychoanalyzes (physiologizes?) them:

It is these very types we all have to watch closely.

Can you imagine these perpetual attackers ever really having tolerance and a diversity approach? If they ran the News-Press, would they keep me, Scott or Travis? Since they spend a lot of time salivating over the demise of the News-Press and anyone and everyone involved with it -- I think they would create their own one-sided tyranny.

First, nice slip there--"their own one-sided tyranny" kind of implies there is a one-sided tyranny right now at the N-P. (It just happens that tyranny gave Schlessinger a column, so it's a good tyranny.) Now, I'm not really anonymous (after all, there must be hundreds of Georges with two greyhounds in town), but I have to admit, if I were put in charge of the News-Press, I would be tyrannical. Call me a brutish dictator, but I'd require all my journalists, editors, and columnists to be competent. To argue using facts and not hearsay and innuendo. To understand the community about which they write. They couldn't hold grudges against enemies real or made-up. They couldn't coddle friends.

They would have to do reporting, and not just tell us what they think people think. For instance, that Dr. (of Physiology) Laura column of 3/15 begins with a rant about why she will not watch Law & Order anymore. It seems it set her off that a recent episode took the sad, sad murder of Adrienne Shelly, lamented on this very blog back when it happened, as a starting point for its plot. Here's her problem with the episode:

Last December, a woman in an apartment building in New York City was brutally and cruelly murdered by an illegal immigrant from Colombia simply because she asked him to keep the noise down a bit on his construction job downstairs. He followed her upstairs and attacked her. She didn't die then. She died when he hung her to make it look like a suicide. This was major news in New York City in December of 2006.

Here we are early in 2007, and -- with their usual "disclaimer" about it not being a "true" story -- they put the exact same scenario in one of their episodes . . . except now, the white, Christian, businessman owner of the construction company is considered the murderer because he is the one to fake the suicide hanging to protect his business.

Imagine the brutal death of your family member "retooled" so that the actual murderer becomes the victim of white, American, corporate greed.

We don't have to imagine anything, Dr. (of Physiology) Laura. We could try to contact Shelly's family (she had a husband and very young daughter) and see if the episode bugged them. Of course, then we'd actually have to mention her name in our column--but why give her that humanity. For what we really want to do is use her case a complaint about political correctness. Her death means nothing to Schlessinger--it's that it didn't get used to beat up on illegal immigrants, and instead made an argument that greedy white men are bad (didn't see the episode--did it suggest all white men are greedy? I bet).

Seems she's "retooled" the murder too, doing the very thing she's accusing the Law & Order folks of doing. Probably because she believes she's the decider about what's law and order and she hates anyone crowding in on her territory. But she's got plenty of company with Wendy McCaw and Crew, for they're the same ones who accuse everyone else of bias when they don't even report on this week's NLRB finding in their own paper.

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Blogger Marty said...

Damn, George. Don't you have a job? How many posts can you get away with in one day? :) I hope the damn thing doesn't turn into one of those corny emoticons. Anyway, I've started a modest occasional blog:

Tips welcome. Enjoy pinoting.

1:32 PM  
Anonymous James said...

Is this the same "Dr" Laura who is also an insufferable radio shrink? I didn't realize she was being inflicted on newspaper readers as well.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

If I were editor I'd make my writers say, "so and so was hanged."

Maybe it's just me (pedant that I am), but when did "hung" become acceptable in the execution sense?

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Al Bacara said...

Dr. Laura still hates the internet since the 'Bill Balance' photos from years ago, hit the 'net'. [Has she ever looked better, recently?]. I think SDLG, posted an offer for her to blog on her site to make herself 'heard' directly and accurately. Instead she has gone to [the dark side?] where the 'money' is [hey travis and Barry] and joined the circled wagons [Bentleys?] at NP. It's Wendy's world, where her reality sometimes[?] meets the real world. I like your NP version better, and can either of your dogs do actual 'LOCAL NEWS'? but don't go by me, I'm neither pedant, nor "hung".

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike is spot-on right, it is "hanged", not "hung". I guess Dr. (of physiology) Laura is above being subjected to the editorial process.

9:23 AM  
Anonymous paguruspagoo said...

George: The world needs more of your kind of tyranny. But I have another suggestion for your readers to imagine: imagine what Ms./Mrs (I can never remember what she insists on) McCaw would be if Craig McCaw hadn't proposed marriage to her? Surely she wouldn't be in SB and owner of the Snooze Press. And given her lack of managerial acumen, as evidenced by how she's handled the paper's implosion, she wouldn't have succeeded in business on her own. I'm thinking that she might have been a real estate agent, completely sold on the "free market" economy. What I can't imagine is her having children, a good thing since imagining how they would have turned out is a dizzying exercise.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Al Bonowitz said...

I'd work for you, George. That would have been the backbone of a helluva News-Press band.

For paguruspagoo: Wendy prefers "Mrs." But if I was Craig McCaw, I would have made the settlement contingent on her going back to "Petrak."

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this Dr. (of Physiology) nonsense? Just because she has a doctorate in physiology doesn't mean that she isn't qualified to express her opinion on other things. I have a Masters Degree in chemical engineering, and I therefore have the qualifications to express opinions on any topic in science, math, and economics. That even includes politics! I can go one-on-one with any "intellectual" in the world, and hold my own quite well. Get off your high horse! If you disagree with an idea, challenge the idea! Don't attack the person delivering it. My favorite motto is, "Little minds talk about people, average minds talk about things, but great minds talk about ideas." Elevate your discussion, otherwise I might have to say, "You ain't got no couth."

- Bob Bugiada
MS (Chemical Engineering)
University of Southern California

8:20 PM  
Blogger George said...

Dear Bob Bugiada--

I'm so sorry you didn't read past the first 4 words in my post. If you kept reading you'd see that I definitely do demolish Ms. Schlessinger's arguments, as much as they even are arguments.

P.S. If Google can be trusted and there aren't many Bob Bugiada's out there, I'm glad to see you think the world of Michael Savage as well as "Dr." Schlessinger. I guess gay bashing must rank high on your list of things you learned when you got your Masters.

11:42 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

No snark, George. Dr. (of Chemical Engineering) Bugiada attacks Teh Gay as an ideology, not the people who are gay.

No high horse rider, he.

5:34 AM  

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