Rick-dickulous

In an attempt to lift his dispirited re-election campaign by any means necessary (got you thinking about Rush Limbaugh, didn't I?) Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum has opted to combine two of the Republicans' favorite amendments into one. Santorum today announced he would sponsor a "Fag Burning Amendment" to the Constitution. The Senator said, "This will protect flags, as people will be too busy setting legally required fire to flamers. And then there will be no man on dog sex and my marriage will be safe so my wife and I can bring more dead fetuses home. There will also be a part of the amendment that gets rid of the word militia in the second amendment, because that's just confusing, especially to my base of pigheaded-patriot, homophobe hunters."