Not of that Elk

Or, as Mr. T. might say if he were a punning zoologist, “I Wapiti the fool.” Today is the 138th anniversary of the creation of the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE), although the group had already existed for awhile as the Malevolent and Destructive Anarchic Syndicate of Who Are You Looking at Anyway? (MADD). Seriously, their original name was the Jolly Corks, which was pretty frivolous. But they started as actors, or at least people who said they were actors but barely even read for parts, who got together on Sunday to drink, not that they didn’t drink other days, but on Sunday there were blue laws, so they had to be more creative as to where to drink as the bars were closed, even the ones that hadn’t thrown them out yet. Part of the Sunday recreation was a game involving bouncing corks off a table and whoever did it poorly had to buy the round. Needless to say, when they changed their name from the Jolly Corks to the Elk, tables in New York City were not happy. On top of that, the original BPOE almost wound up the BPOB, as some wanted them to take the name Buffalo, but although the vote was close, the final tally, shipped to the meeting by a member named Scott Norwood, sailed wide right of the voting place. (I apologize to all the non-football fans who will have missed the extra point of humor in that joke.) And, of course, it’s all complicated by the fact that in Europe moose are called elk, and that means a Liverpudlian, let’s say, might wander indiscriminately into a Moose lodge looking for Elk, only to shout, “Elk! I need somebody.” Which isn’t as bad as aiming for quail--bred to be shot quail-tards at that--and instead blasting a 78 year old man. But who would do something that ridiculous?