Friday, September 30, 2005

Was That Resurrection Good for You?

The AP reports:
Lincoln, NEB. – A pastor received an unwelcome supply of Viagra pills by unregistered mail earlier this month. The 500 pills of the impotence drug was very unexpected, he said. The pills were charged to his credit card, which the pastor believes was stolen while he was on vacation in Canada.

And what do we learn from this news nugget, beyond if you’re a pastor in Nebraska, a trip to Canada seems like a mighty fine vacation? Well, no one expects a Viagra imposition, let alone 500.

At this time it’s unclear if the recent surge in conversions in Lincoln has anything to do with this case. Numerous women have reported uplifting spiritual experiences that have left them crying “Oh, God.” And some “ohgodohgodohgodohgod.” And some have said things we can’t print in a family blog (although methinks I just closed the barn door on propriety after the horses were rode hard and put away wet, to mix metaphors a bit).

Meanwhile marketers at Pfizer are busy working on the “I Will Raise Him Up” pill that will guarantee to make any man a savior. They also remind users that more than four hours in the presence of the godhead can cause permanent speaking in tongues.


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