A Cabinet Is a Terrible Thing to Taste

As you've probably already heard, Tommy Thompson, who resigned Friday as Secretary of Health and Human Services (rumored to renamed Inhuman Services during Bush's second term as the White House is tired of carping that it's not honest, and as Republicans make sure reproductive rights erode, they also like the idea of the acronym HIS, too) made the following claim/advice to those who hate the U.S.: "For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do. We are importing a lot of food from the Middle East, and it would be easy to tamper with that."

Somehwere, Bill O'Reilly cried, "No! Keep your hands off my falafel!...You, honey, can keep your hands on my felafel, I meant the terrorists!"

Meanwhile President Bush downplayed Thompson's worries, insisting that America was such a terrific country that everyone could have food tasters just like the ones he has. And at that news, two more members of his cabinet resigned. Nonetheless Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, one of the few Cabinet secretaries remaining from President Bush's first term, declared, "I'm man enough to swallow anything."