Power Is the Ultimate A-rod-isiac

Need proof why sports writers (save Nate Silver, who's really a math geek at heart who follows the numbers wherever they lead) should stay out of politics? Saturday in the LA Times sports editor Bill Dwyre wrote a column about how hard it is to be Joe Torre right now, with the steroid scandal back in the news thanks to the A-Rod confession. And Dwyre wrote this:

At the beginning of the week, the Dodgers' manager could have reasonably assumed he would be addressing the media here, on this day before spring training, about Manny Ramirez . . . or his recently released book on his years with the Yankees . . . or his pitching rotation.

Not this time. There were bigger fish to fry. Overviews sought. Philosophies established. Damage control begun.

Badly needed was a sense of the future, of the mood on the inside and expectations of the mood on the outside. This occasion needed more Henry Kissinger than Tom Lasorda.

So a war criminal will help more than someone who knows baseball?* One more reason I hope newspapers never go out of business--it hurts less to bang one's head on the paper than it does to bang one's head on a computer monitor.

*And I'm not implying Lasorda knows baseball, either. After all, I'd point to his failures with Ramon Martinez's right arm if Ramon could still lift it. But at least Cambodia and Laos have no problems with him.

Ronald Reagan Returns to Santa Barbara--You'd Think It Was a Ghost or Something

Two larger clumps of random thoughts from a random mind that seem to go together after a long day (I'm sort of working three jobs at once right now, so that's the best I can do)....

The LA Times maybe shouldn't wander up to Santa Barbara. Or should invest in a fact checker. Their Sunday travel section visited Santa Barbara (at least they say they did) and someone reported that SoHo has "two cavernous rooms." Now, if a New York City reporter who lives in a studio called SoHo cavernous that would be one thing, but in California we tend to know what the word "big" actually means. After all, what other state has its own sea? SoHo is a nightclub. People like Jonathan Richman play there.

Then, in an article about a from-market-to-plate cooking class, there's this priceless line, "We travel in a caravan to Hauben's home in Santa Barbara's leafy LaRoque neighborhood overlooking the mountains."

First, it's San Roque, not LaRoque (I guess we should feel good the writer didn't name our neighborhood after John Laroquette). Second, Santa Barbara is pinned between the ocean and the Santa Ynez Mountains. It's a coastal plain. You can't OVERlook mountains unless you're in huge platforms or on an even bigger mountain or wearing good size shoes on a modest yet proud hill. That's not getting topography wrong, that's just plain dumb writing.

Then again, I guess I just don't know what news is. Here in town everyone is gaga because the USS Ronald Reagan is anchored off shore. I think it's wonderful our sailors get to enjoy our town and get a break from doing the terrible things empire makes them do. I just don't see why every news outlet has to cover it like it's a huge deal. Sure, the ship is ginormous. Sure, it's wonderful to know two nuclear reactors are now off our shoreline, making us like San Onofre without the need for a brassiere [edited 1/15/08 10:20 am--see comments]. Sure, the ship's motto is "Peace through Strength," the very inverse of Dennis Kucinich's slogan "Strength through Peace." (Given Kucinich's stature, he might rate a tugboat someday.) Sure, it cost $4.5 billion dollars to build, but that's a measly 18 days of the Iraq War, so a bargain.

It's just that I don't care it's here. I realize its massive size is supposed to be Viagra to my ever-flagging patriotism, but what's American in me would rather stand up and salute a traveling display of the Bill of Rights. Of course these days there's a provision that if you enjoy the first ten amendments for more than four hours, you've violated the Patriot Act. But you don't have consult anyone; they're listening to your calls and will know where you are.